Frisbee & Anti-Frisbee Email

This page contains my collection of Frisbee & Anti-Frisbee emails that have appeared in various mass mailings among MthSc-grads at Clemson.

To understand this page you should first be aware that the correspondents listed here are a very passionate, sensitive, and caring group; especially when it comes to Frisbee Email. Because it is not always clear from the correspondence, you should also understand that some emails written from opposing views were written in the same office with the encouragement and/or editing assistance from the opposing author. So the more passionate the letter seems, the more salt one might consider adding to the poke.

Finally, if you want to blame someone, then you might consider choosing Marc D'Arcy and Steve Dooley. They and others conspired separately/together to bring Frisbee & Anti-Frisbee Email into the lime light.

I hope you enjoy these, and remember, Ultimate Frisbee every Friday at 4:00 in the field by the baseball diamond. Or was that 4:30 by the football field?

1999
2001
2002
2003
2004
2005
2006
2007


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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 15:10:42
From: "Mark D'Arcy"
Subject: Re: Ultimate Tournament

I will never play ultimate frisbee.  Why don't you just take the two seconds 
to make a distribution list for those people who actually may play at some point.

Mark D'Arcy

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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 15:12:48
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Re: Ultimate Tournament

Preach it Brother D'Arcy... :)

On Tue, 5 Oct 1999, Mark D'Arcy wrote:

> I will never play ultimate frisbee.  Why don't you just take the two 
> seconds to make a distribution list for those people who actually may
> play at some point.

Later,

Kelly

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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 15:18:55
From: Cassandra Ann Kirby 
Subject: Re: Ultimate Tournament

Do you want some cheese with that wine???


At 03:12 PM 10/5/99, Kelly Waters wrote:

>Preach it Brother D'Arcy... :)

SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK
Cassandra "Sandi" Kirby

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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 15:25:35
From: "Mark D'Arcy" 
Subject: Re: Ultimate Tournament

I'm not whining.  I just hate receiving needless email.  I already get enough
crap that I don't care about.  If I have not attended one frisbee function in
over 2 years what the hell makes you think I'm gonna start now.  So then, what
is the purpose of including me in the mailing?  The reason is those knee biters
Villapando and Dooley are too lazy to compile a list of those people who
actually give a damn.

In addition frisbee is for wankers and pansies.

> Do you want some cheese with that wine???

Mark D'Arcy

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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 15:39:05
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Re: Ultimate Tournament :) follow-up

On Tue, 5 Oct 1999, Mark D'Arcy wrote:

> I'm not whining.  I just hate receiving needless email.  
> In addition frisbee is for wankers and pansies.

Hi,

According to my handsize dictionary, whine is defined as follows.

whine: 1. complain childishly.  2.  make a high pitched nasal sound.

I will have to agree that to say that whether 1.) applies is certainly
subjective.  And since I was not in the rooom when Mark emailed, I will
have to pass judgement on whether 2.) applies as well.

I could not find a definition for pansies, but somehow I doubt that
"colorful outdoor flowers related to violets" are in any way interested
in playing frisbee.

Later,

Kelly

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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 15:50:59
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: mastercard

Number of ultimate messages I get to read per day: 1
Number of messages complaining and complaining about complaining: 5

Reading Mad Dog use the word "wanker": Priceless.

I'm lonely and I like to get e-mail. It makes me feel special.

mmm, wine.

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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 20:08:26
From: Erwin Walker
Subject: Re: Ultimate Tournament

Sandra,

Don't you mean "with that whine"?  Otherwise it just isn't very funny.

Erwin

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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 20:09:37
From: Erwin Walker 
Subject: Re: Ultimate Tournament

Of course, I meant to address the last message to Sandi.

Erwin

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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 20:17:34
From: Cassandra Ann Kirby 
Subject: Re: Ultimate Tournament

Can we please let the madness end?!?!

Thanks for clarifying that "whine" business, Erwin =P

Anyway, since I have the floor for a minute,

Good Luck to the Math Frisbee Team!!! Kick butt and take names later!

SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK*SK

Cassandra "Sandi" Kirby

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Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 20:02:13
From: Erwin Walker 
Subject: Re: Ultimate Tournament

> Can we please let the madness end?!?!

Couldn't have said it better myself!

We've been getting these messages for years.

Erwin

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Date: Wed, 6 Oct 1999 13:19:03
From: DOOLEY STEVEN P 
Subject: Warmest Wishes To All

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful day.  and while i'm here...

For those playing frisbee, we're playing at 5.

For those not playing, we're playing at 5 and you're encouraged to come
watch, cheer, or air any grievances you may have.

Best regards and sincere apologies,

knee biting steve

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Date: Wed, 6 Oct 1999 15:41:40
From: Bernd Schandl 
Subject: Re: Reminder: Kaiserslautern

Geez, can't you guys take a little time and make a distribution list. I
studied in Kaiserslautern for five years and have been living in this
country even 20 years longer. What the heck makes you guys think I want to
study there again (although I did have a good time)?

I get so much crap in my email every day anyway (just count the ones from
Marc and Kelly), I can hardly find all the interesting Ultimate 
announcements ;-)

Bernd

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Date: Wed, 6 Oct 1999 15:48:31
From: "Mark D'Arcy" 
Subject: Re: Reminder: Kaiserslautern

> Geez, can't you guys take a little time and make a distribution list.

You spelled my name incorrectly.  This must be due to the fact that you are one
of those frisbee wankers.  I agree though, who cares about Kaiserslautern?

Mark D'Arcy

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Date: Thu, 7 Oct 1999 12:37:38
From: John Villalpando
Subject: filters

I can pretty much gaurantee that filters will not work with my wonderful
spelling.  Good luck trying.

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Date: Thu, 7 Oct 1999 19:46:09
From: Mathew Eberhardt
Subject: Isn't it ironic...

Does anybody else see the irony of people using a mailing list to
voice their complaints about a mailing list?

It's like the news doing a report about the media......

Just me two cents....you owe me now.

Mathew Eberhardt, ICQ: Allacalander, AOL IM: ClemMath

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Date: Fri, 8 Oct 1999 10:00:06
From: John Villalpando 
Subject: Weekend wishes

Hello Math Grad Department,

I want to wish everybody a fun and exciting weekend.  If you do not like
fun, then perhaps I wish a nice and relaxing weekend.  For those of you more
interested in having fun than sitting at home and watching the tube, I
encourage you to come to play Ultimate at 3:30 at the normal field.

John

P.S. of course drinking and watching the tube would also be considered fun,
especially if you are watching Ultimate frisbee on the tube or live, that is
3:30 at the field by Jervey.

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Date: Fri, 8 Oct 1999 11:11:20
From: DOOLEY STEVEN P 
Subject: Frisbee Results

hey everyone!

your math frisbee team lost in the semifinals yesterday.  it was the end of
a pretty good run: there were around 35 teams in the tournament, and we
made the final 4.

if you want to give some of the players a kind word, or even a few dollars
extra cash, i'm sure they'd appreciate it.  Being eliminated from the
tournament probably eliminates the need for tournament related
e-mails.  That loss may hurt more than losing the game... i've enjoyed
reading the chatter this past week.

anyways, hope everyone has a good weekend,

steve

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Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 00:39:37
From: Todd Mateer
Subject: It's a boy

For those of you who have been here a while and know me, my wife Jennifer 
and I had a baby boy last night Sunday March 25 at 8:03 P.M.  

His name is Nathan Paul and he weighed 6 pounds 0 ounces.

For those of you who don't know me or don't care, pretend that this is a 
note about frisbee and trash it.

For those of you who love frisbee, please take that last comment as a 
joke, so we can avoid another spirited exchange of e-mails debating the 
value of frisbee in our department like we had last year at this time.

Todd Mateer

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Date: Thu, 12 Jul 2001 14:25:10
From: Erin McNelis
Subject: Friday Lunch and Ultimate Frisbee plans

Hi Everyone,

We'll try a dual purpose message this week, as it didn't seem that
anyone made it out for ultimate last week.

We're going to try returning to the later lunches, meet in the
basement of O-wing a little after 1 p.m., so those of you who are
in class til one can join us.

As for frisbee, if any of you are interested, I guess we can stick
to the "usual" plans.  Meet around 4 p.m. on the field between
the practice football fields and the baseball field.  If they've
got some sort of "campers" using that field, we'll probably move
to the field across from Fike and next to the football stadium.
I guess we'll see how many people make it out there, to determine
if we've got enough for a game.  I'll have a frisbee to toss around
if nothing else.

Hope you've had a good week so far, and are looking forward to the
weekend.

See you later,

Erin

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Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 15:00:18
From: Erin McNelis
Subject: Friday

Hello, hello,

Friday's almost here again, and for anyone interested, I think
we'll be heading out to TD's for lunch a little after 1 p.m.
Meet in the basement of O-wing as usual.

Then if there is anyone interested, we can try to meet for
frisbee at 4 p.m.  It looks like they're still using our
usual fields for soccer camp, so it's probably best to meet
on the field across from Fike and next to Death Valley.  I'll
try to bring some containers of cold water.  For those of you
who don't want to battle the heat, and want to show up later,
please do.  If we have enough to play around 4 or 4:30, I'm
sure a game will be going on for at least an hour or two.

Hope it's been a good week for everyone.

Take it easy,

Erin

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Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2001 12:15:11
From: John J Villalpando 
Subject: frisbee

Hello everyone,

  I wanted to inform people of a ultimate frisbee game on friday at 4:00
on the field by the baseball stadium.

  For those of you who are new a group of mathematicians and friends have
played ultimate frisbee on friday for the past four years.  Wow I feel old,
no offense to some of you out there. :) If you do not know how to play
ultimate frisbee that is fine we can teach you.  If you do not know how to
throw a frisbee show on up you will learn.  If you are generally a lazy
person and the idea of running seems to bother you show on up you will not
be alone.  The idea is to get us together and have a little fun while
blowing off steam.  It is generally a very fun time.  We will continue to
strive for fun over competition.  There are two intramural leagues for
competitive frisbee which if the turn out is good some might try play there.

  Anyways, I hope to see many new faces along with the same old one, not
the the faces are old just that I have seen them before.  Please excuse any
spelling, grammar , and other errors having to do with English or any other
language it appears I used.  This is the final disclaimer for this.

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Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2001 08:02:00 (EDT)
From: Kelly Waters
Subject: frisbee

Hi John,

Actually, I had planned to come, but I had always assumed that the players
could easily determine the velocity of a typical swallow without regard to
its laden.  Since it is obvious that you have lowered the standards, I
regret that I will not be able to join you.

> Everyone is welcome to come regardless of skill, athletic talent, or the
> ability to determine the air speed velocity of a unladen swallow.

Kelly

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Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2001 11:10:37
From: John J Villalpando 
Subject: Frisbee

Hello all,

Just to let you know.
On the field by the baseball diamond we will play some frisbee.
So please come out and join us.
Have some fun at the 
Usual time of 4:30.
All are welcome to play and wish Jen a happy birthday.

(Jen may or may not be there)

John

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Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2001 11:43:15
From: John J Villalpando 
Subject: Fisbee at 4:00 not 4:30

Hey All,

Frisbee is at 4:00 as usual not 4:30 which is not usual.  So frisbee at
4:00.

John

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Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2001 12:05:28
From: Kelly Waters
Subject: Re: Frisbee

I think that I shall never be,
happy with email about frisbee.
There is however, far less doubt,
that word of my playing should ever leak out.
Now we all know, weekly frisbee emails may be boring,
but always keep in mind: poems can be just as annoying.
But all like all good things, poems must come to a close,
and we are not sure that every graduate student knows,
so let me leave you with just one last word,
they are playing frisbee at 4:30 again, in case you haven't heard.

sincerely

Kelly

- the committee to suppress email generated stress
- couch potato's of america


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Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2001 12:15:48
From: Kelly Waters
Subject: Re: Frisbee (correction)

For clarity, that should be "But like all" instead of "But all like all"

later...

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Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2001 13:22:37 (EDT)
From: John Paul Roop
Subject: Re: Frisbee

The frisbee e-mails I received was one
Deleted it, thought "well, that is done"
Got a second, then deleted it
Got a third, then deleted it
Got a fourth, then deleted it
But I myself am also a hypocrit.


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Date: Fri, 9 Nov 2001 10:59:09
From: John J Villalpando 
Subject: Frisbee

Hello Friday,

We are all ready to play, a bit of Frisbee today.  Albeit to Shakespeare I
must yield, we play near the baseball field.  Four seems to be a good time,
just a bit difficult to rhyme.  I hope to see you all there, if not please
take care.

John

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Date: Fri, 9 Nov 2001 11:54:50 (EST)
From: Kelly Waters
Subject: Re: Frisbee

Sweatshirt and old jeans.                                         $12.00

Shoes to play Frisbee.                                            $25.00

Frisbee.                                                           $5.00

Replacing broken eyeglasses.                                     $125.00

Emergency Room, M.D., Rx and Physical Therapy for afterwards. $32,395.76

Profit from book sales of "Selected Frisbee Friday Emails."        $1.95

Penalty for Fraudulent Itemized 104A deduction of $32,395.76.  $8,062.00

Developing a virus in prison that replaces the word "Frisbee"
with the word "Freakin" in every email sent over the internet. priceless

For everything else, there's next weeks Freakin email!

Kelly

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Date: Fri, 16 Nov 2001 12:11:41
From: John J Villalpando 
Subject: Don't be a turkey, Come to frisbee

Hello fellow erudite persons,

A set of erudite persons will engage in the recreation of flinging a disc
athwart the grasslands in close proximity to the baseball diamond at
4:00.  Please merge with us.

John

P.S.  I was busy today looking up the meaning of calling someone a
      turkey. (Sounds more like me.)  Anyway this is what I found to be the
      definition of turkey,  c. A stupid, slow, inept, or otherwise 
      worthless person. I felt this to be harsh, but it was recommended to 
      me by a none frisbee participant.

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Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 09:32:22
From: Chrissy Spangenberg
Subject: PLEASE RESPOND: Grad Student Mixer Friday, Aug. 30th

It's a chance for the new grads to meet the old timers and visa-versa.
Please plan to attend the
Grad Student Mixer and Frisbee Bash
Martin/Long Hall Courtyard
Friday, Aug. 30
4 PM
Beef hot dogs, vegetarian beans and slaw will be served.
John Villalpando will supply the frisbee.

If your last name begins with:
A-G, bring a salty snack
H-N, bring a sweet snack
P-Z, bring a drink.

Please email an RSVP by Monday so I know how many dogs to buy.

Hope you can attend!

Chrissy Spangenberg

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Date: Thu, 12 Sep 2002 10:47:16
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: Frisbee!

The great responsibility of the frisbee email has been passed to me this
week since John is going out of town. So I guess we'll see how effective I
am tomorrow when we see how many people show up!

To all the frisbee lovers and people who don't know yet that they love frisbee:
We will be playing on the field next to the baseball diamond tomorrow
(Friday). We start showing up at 4, and start playing a little after that
(I'm not sure when, because I'm usually late!)  If you don't know how to
play, don't worry, we can teach you in about a minute and it's a fast
learning curve!!  The math people are beginning to be outnumbered by the
non-math people, so we need to build our numbers back up!

To all of you who dread the weekly frisbee emails:
It's never too late to start playing frisbee!

See you all tomorrow,

Shannon

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Date: Thu, 12 Sep 2002 12:03:05
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Re: Frisbee!

Hi Shannon,

I would like to congratulate you on a stellar attempt at filling in for
John.  Please accept a little constructive criticism: Every Frisbee email
must contain at least 3 spelling errors, an obligatory ommitted word or
two, and an occaisional grammer error.

Now do not be discouraged. In spite of these obvious ommisions, we all
appreciate this first attempt, and I personally consider this a pleasant
vision of Frisbee emails to come.

Kelly

sp. Honestly, I was almost overcome by an unusually strong desire
    to join you all on Friday.  Of course, the urge passed quickly.
    Still, it was a refreshing sensation not unlike that accompanying
    a York Peppermint...

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Date: Thu, 12 Sep 2002 18:15:13
From: Jeffrey Farr 
Subject: Re: Frisbee!

Hi Shannon,

Maybe Kelly could help you with the emails. He cleverly included four
spelling errors and two grammatical errors. I could not find an omitted
word, though. Of course, omitted words are hard to see . . . . :)

Jeff Farr

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Date: Thu, 12 Sep 2002 20:52:08
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: Re: Frisbee!

Remember, it's "Man Kelly".

So I guess you omitted a word, Jeff.

JP

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Date: Fri, 13 Sep 2002 10:10:58
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: Frisbee! (take 2)

Just wanted to let you all know that we paly frisbie rain or shine. It's
actually more fun to play in the rain, so unless it's thundering and
lightning, we'll see you there!

Shannon

Is this better, Man-Kelly?

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Date: Fri, 13 Sep 2002 12:50:44
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Re: Frisbee! (take 2)

> Shannon
> Is this better, Man-Kelly?

Hi Shannon,

So much better I wrote a poem to celebrate:

One can never tell, when one might receive Frisbee email.
But take it not to heart, for of junk mail tis the better part.
And as I myself can't spell, as you can easily tell,
your emails are too smart, and Frisbee is sports, not art.

Kelly

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Date: Thu, 19 Sep 2002 14:34:55
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Pre-response to Frisbee email

Hi All,

I am somewhat busy today, so please accept this pre-response to what John
assures me will be a priceless example of poetic Frisbee email:)

Just as I am too busy to respond, I am also too busy to play
Frisbee Friday at the usual time and usual location....

Where: on the field next to the baseball diamond
When: Friday 4

Even though I will not be able to join you, I hope you all have fun.

Kelly

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Date: Thu, 19 Sep 2002 16:35:58
From: John J Villalpando 
Subject: Post response frisbee email

Hi all,

    In response to Kelly's pre-response I have altered the words to a song
sung by Woody on Cheers.  So if you recall the song(ie. are old and have
been her too long) you may want to hum it as you read.

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly ...
K, E, L, L, why?
Because we have
Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby ...
F, R, I, B where?
Near the baseball
Diamond, Diamond, Diamond, Dimond, Diamond, Diamond, Diamond, Diamond ...
D, I, ? ? ? , D, when?
At or around
four, for, four, for, four, four, four, four ...
F, O, U, R, huh???
Because he's
Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man
Kelly, Man Kelly ...
M, A, N, K, E, L, L Y.

Thanks,
John

P.S.  I promise not to sing at frisbee.  So I hope to see everyone out
there this week aside rom those who are too busy, have a more interesting
life, or in general just don't like round objects flying at them.

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Date: Thu, 24 Oct 2002 11:21:43
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: UFE

Hi All,

I am confused by the apparent lack of Ultimate Frisbee Emails (UFEs).

Frankly I am concerned that I have been caught in a time warp - which
might not be a bad thing since if it has indeed only been one week since
the last UFE then that would mean I accomplished a great deal in one week.
Of course, I might be suffering from UFE Withdrawal Syndrome (UFEWS).

Anyway, I am having a hard time remembering that you guys play
Ultimate Frisbee each Friday about 4:00.

Am I right?  Is that the time? Frisbee?  Friday? 4:00?  Have I got the 
details mixed up?  Does anyone remember for sure?  Aren't we supposed 
to get an UFE on Thursday?

Oh, Hi Will.  What are you doing with my computer?  NO! DON'T UNPLUG TH

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Date: Fri, 25 Oct 2002 13:49:04
From: John J Villalpando 
Subject: Frisbee

Hello,

    I have three things to say.

1.  I apologize to all of you who wait every week for a new frisbee
    anouncement.  I know I have been avoiding my responsibilities in this
    regard.  Sure, I can make excuses, like I was out of town, or too
    busy.  However, I am sure none of those ease the pain that I may cause by
    not sending out such messages.  Mainly I know that Kelly has missed many
    oppurtunities to respond.  I am sorry.

2.  We will be playing frisbee today at around 4:00.  Perhaps a bit later
    since I have to go to ADM seminar at 3:30.  I will head to the field near
    the baseball diamond as soon after as I can.  I always enjoy playing in a
    little mud.

3.  I forgot what the third this I wanted to say was.  Hmmm....  Well I
    guess my third things is that I forgot what my third thing is, but then
    that means I have a third thing which I have not forgotten.   Now I am just
    confused.

John

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Date: Fri, 8 Nov 2002 09:19:15
From: John Villalpando 
Subject: Frisbee

Hello all,

   The weather is beginning to get cold, so we better get some frisbee in while
we can.  Thanks you Shannon and Kelly for dropping a few frisbee hints.
Personally I need a little stress relief so I am looking forward to playing
frisbee today at 4:00 on the fienld near the baseball diamond.  I hopt to see
everyone there.

   John

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Date: Fri, 6 Dec 2002 11:38:35
From: John Villalpando 
Subject: Frisbee

Hello All,

   Well, it looks as if this is my second to last email about frisbee.  There
seems to be several people who would like to weather the cold and play some
frisbee.  So lets try for 4:00 on the field next to the baseball diamond.  I
can't be there today, but I will be around for next weeks game.  I hope
everybody enjoys.  If you are leaving campus before my next email enjoy the
holidays.

   John

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Date: Fri, 13 Dec 2002 13:37:32
From: John J Villalpando 
Subject: frisbee

Hello,

    I hope everyone is having fun grading.  In case you need a break we
will be playing frisbee at 4:00 on the field next to the baseball
diamond.  I hope to see everyone there.

John

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Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 10:48:03
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

I know it's cold, but if anyone thinks that they would like to brave the
cold weather, we'll be playing frisbee at 4 on the field near the baseball
diamond. A hat and gloves would probably be a good idea, especially the
gloves!!

Shannon

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Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 14:10:23
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee email

Jason is helping me write the email this week, so if it's not exciting,
blame me, if it's boring, blame him. As always, except on the days when we
do not (Saturday-Thursday), we will be playing frisbee at 4 or close to it
on the field next to the baseball diamond. Today is especially exciting as
Kirsten and I will be playing together again for the first time since last
year. Expect the tension to be palpable (Jason's word, I don't really know
what it means). You all know where Kirsten and I stand so choose your gang
colors appropriately.

Shannon

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Date: Fri, 7 Feb 2003 13:09:43
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Jason has refused to help me write the email this week. Muttered something
like I wouldn't help you do anything if you paid me a million bucks, then
walked off. I don't know, he's a little moody. But, we will still be
playing at 4 on the field next to the baseball diamond. So see everyone out
there!

Shannon

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Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 12:36:59
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

You are all invited to a special game of Valentine frisbee today. It will
take place at 4 pm on the field next to the baseball diamond.  Couples and
singles are all welcome. So bring your loved ones, even if that's only
yourself, and come out for frisbee!

Shannon

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Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 13:26:32 (EST)
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Unrequited Frisbee Emails - Special Edition "Remember John?"

Hi Shannon & All,

First, I must apologize for not having responded, or pre-responded, to
Frisbee emails since John Villapando left us.

I could give several reasons for my lack of verbal garbage:

	- lost my keyboard and have been typing with my mouse
	- took a vow of literary silence
	- the grad list is bouncing all my best emails
	- been reading the dictionary checking for errors

But the greater truth is that my lapse has more to do with my inability to
compare John and Shannon's emails.  On the rare occaision that John sent a
coherent announcement, I could always appeal to an abundance of suitable
personal insults; only a dearth of which are even remotely applicable to
Shannon.

Now, Shannon, I must admit that I truly miss the sweet anticipation of,
and the resulting decipher sessions for, John's Fribsee Emails. And since
you are having a hard time making yours less than perfect, perhaps we
could persuade John to write a Frisbee emaiL Obfuscation Program (FLOP).
I have no doubt that with John's backing FLOP would be highly succesful.

Kelly

ps - In case you do not know, I like John - mostly because he is easy to
     pick on, but also because he left:)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 08:25:54
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee math

In honor of the 106 students being done with related rates:

A group of math grad students and friends get together on Friday afternoon
at 4 to play frisbee on the field next to the baseball diamond. Jason has
the frisbee and sees his teammate Katie 20 ft directly in front of him in
the inzone, the perfect opportunity to score a point. He throws the frisbee
at a speed of 60 ft/s. Unfortunately, due to his poor frisbee throwing
abilities, he throws it perpindicular to where Katie is standing. Katie,
realizing she will never be able to catch the frisbee, turns her head and
watches the frisbee fly out of bounds. How fast is she rotating her head
when she has turned it 45 degrees?

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 13:24:43
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Re: frisbee math

Now THAT is a good Frisbee email.  I do have one suggestion that would
make it more suitable for those of us working on fluid flow problems.

Since we often use a "creeping flow" assumption to simplify the governing
PDE's, I propose having Jason throw the Frisbee at 60 ft/sec to Kelly
standing on the goal line, and instead of an orthogonal trajectory, the
angle is of such that Kelly has to move 3 ft along the goal line to catch
the Frisbee.  The question is similar.  If Kelly's movements are fluid and
we assume a creeping flow, can he turn his head fast enough to watch the
Frisbee cross the goal line?

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 7 Mar 2003 11:08:17
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

A short frisbee haiku, I guess they're all short, though:

Today we will all play
The baseball field at 4 we meet
Frisbee, game of the day


Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2003 17:38:25
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Re: frisbee

A frisbee Haiku?
That is very nice of you,
Haiku to you too.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2003 17:50:46 (EST)
From: Jeffrey Farr 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Trivial tale.
Flies fast to many people.
Electronic mail.

Jeff Farr

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2003 12:45:43
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

There seemed to be some argument last week on the correct form of a haiku.
So Jason ahs written another frisbee haiku that follows more traditional
standards. This will also give those of you who had some fun with haiku
last week to have another chance! Have a great Spring Break everyone!!

Frisbee day again
Regular time, location
Welcome and have fun


Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2003 13:18:16
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Frisbee and Haiku

This Haiku buisness
is a real distraction and
it has affected

many more students
than the typical emails
about frisbee fun.

I suppose that is not fair - so be certain I adhere to the spirit of the
matter:

Some incomplete thoughts
Together yet spread apart
Words devoid of rhyme

And finally, more to the point:

Frisbee and Haiku:
We could meet this afternoon -
discuss and pattern.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2003 13:54:06
From: Chrissy Spangenberg 
Subject: frisbee

Frisbee on Friday:
Friends toss some ideas around,
Catch a few good smiles.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2003 11:05:27
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Frisbee today. Same time. Same place. Kara will not be joining us. 'Nuff said.

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2003 11:20:44 (EST)
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Frisbee Correction

Who is Nuff and why did Kara not say it herself?  Is Nuff in
complete charge of all of Kara's affairs?

Anway, Frisbee is cancelled today.  No one will be there.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2003 12:23:22
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: Re: Frisbee Correction

Frisbee is not cancelled. E. Nuff will be there.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 10 Apr 2003 20:34:14
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: A very special frisbee email

This week marks a very important occasion in some of our past frisbee
players' lives. Many of our current frisbee players will be travelling to
Connecticut to attend John and Kim's wedding. For those of us left behind,
we'll have a frisbee celebration at 4 pm on Friday, on the field near the
baseball diamond. Congratulations John and Kim!!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Apr 2003 11:37:05
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: Re: A very special frisbee email

Congratulations to John and Kim! Kelly is out of town, so let me say on
his behalf

ULTIMATE FRISBEE IS EVIL!!!!!

p.s. there will be an ADM seminar next week, don't miss it!

JP

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 18 Apr 2003 13:22:20
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee to come

As the semester winds down, I thought I would let you all know what will be
happening with frisbee in the coming months. We will continue to play at
the same time and same place, I'm sure everyone can recite it by now, but
just in case, 4:00 Friday on the field next to the baseball diamond! The
biggest change to look forward to is intermittent emails by guest authors.
People who may volunteer and/or be forced to do this are Jeremy, Jason,
Katie, Kirsten, the list goes on. Keep your eyes open!!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 18 Apr 2003 14:08:49
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: anti-frisbee to come

Hi All,

As the semester winds down, I want to keep you informed about anti-frisbee
emails.

As many of you know, I will not be a student next fall semester. And the
truth is, even if I was going to be a student, the quality of anti-frisbee
emails has suffered due to my be-witchment by Shannon.  Things were so
much easier when John handeld Frsisbee emalis.

Anyway, while I will be able to handle anti-frisbee emails through the
summer, I will need a replacement for the fall. John-Paul filled in for
me once - and did a remarkably nice job - and Jeff or Louis would also be
fine replacements.

If you are a member of TAFEL (The Anti-Frisbee Email League) or you would
like to join, and you would be willing to spend a few minutes each week
expressing our joint frustrations about frisbee emails so that everyone
in TAFEL is not compelled to reply, then let me know and I will add your
name to the list of candidates for TAFEL spokesman.

Sincerely,

Kelly

ps - Remember, Frisbee today at 5:00 by the football field.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 18 Apr 2003 14:21:36
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: President Barker announcement

On this day, President Jim Barker announced that it is Friday. This is a
reminder e-mail in case any of you all forgot it's Friday. As it is
Friday, Frisbee will be played, Kelly will be at TD's playing pool, J.P.
will probably be at the Esso, Louis will still be here at 9 p.m. banging
his head against the computer screen. Please regard this as a polite
reminder that today is, in fact, Friday.

J.P.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 25 Apr 2003 10:55:11
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

With the inclement weather looming, you may be wondering about the state of
frisbee this afternoon. For future reference, I'm giving a quick guide to
which weather conditions we will and will not play frisbee in. A Yes
indicates yes, we will play, and a No indicates no, we will not play.
Today's weather forecast and answer is bolded. In all playable conditions,
we will play Friday at 4 on the field near the baseball diamond. The list
will be updated on a need-to-know basis, this should cover it for now.

Shannon

Condition                       Play?
Sunny                           Yes
Cloudy                          Yes
Hazy/Foggy                      Yes
Windy                           Yes, with some difficulty
Dust Storm                      In South Carolina?
Drizzly                         Yes
Rainy                           Yes
Thunderstorms with an           Yes, let's try
   inch of rain
Lightning Storm                 Maybe no, we'll wait in the cars
Hail                            How big is it?
Sleet/Slush                     Sure
Wintry Mix                      Yes
Snow                            Yes
Blizzard                        No
Tornado                         No

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 25 Apr 2003 11:23:26
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: anti-frisbee

Jeff Farr was to fill in for me today, but unfortunately,
today's anti-frisbee email has been cancelled because
Jeff is under the weather.

Personally, I suspect Jeff has secret pro-frisbee
connections and he might not be the best choice for
TAFEL spokesman.  Maybe next week....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 1 May 2003 22:03:26
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

It has been brought to my attention that in last week's 
email I left out some very possible weather conditions and 
misspoke on others. So add these to the end of your list 
and compare the new list to the weather forecast tomorrow 
to determine if we will be playing frisbee.

Weather  --- Play?
Blizzard --- Yes
Tornado  --- Most will attempt to play around the tornado. 
             Due to my inexplicable fear of tornadoes, I will not.

Nice -> Windy -> Siren-> Temp drop-> Rain
         --- We've done it before, so we'll do it again.

Hurricane--- No

I will also like to send a warning/suggestion out to all TAFEL 
members. I don't mean to cause controversy, but I remember 
playing frisbee with Jeff Farr once, so perhaps you all need 
to have a meeting to discuss what constitutes a frisbee supporter.
Some feelings may be hurt, but sometimes it is necessary to 
rebuild the organization from the inside out. 

My best wishes to you all in this difficult time,

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 2 May 2003 13:19:24
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: TAFEL RESPONSE

Dear Ms. Purvis,

As the point of TAFEL is to overthrow ridiculous social structure as a
whole, one cannot use the argument that our organization forms a cohesive
group. Therefore, we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all
members of TAFEL are created equal, endowed by Charles with the
inalienable right to e-mail this list at any time.

The TAFEL is watching you. Just because it's fun.

JPR

This e-mail is dedicated to the memory of Sundeep, God rest his soul.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 5 May 2003 12:33:39
From: Charles Allen 
Subject: Fwd: TAFEL RESPONSE

>endowed by Charles with the
>inalienable right to e-mail this list at any time.

Obviously J.P. has never read the DCIT computer misuse policy.
I remind you that email is an alienable privilege.

That said, TFL and TAFEL are the best spam I get.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 5 May 2003 13:23:28 (EDT)
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: TAFEL Election News


The TAFEL Spokesman election took a sharp turn this weekend as TAFEL
supporters were shocked to learn that TAFEL Spokesman candidate Jeff Farr
has Ultimate Frisbee connections.

When confronted about the allegations, unreliable witnesses quoted Jeff as
saying "Well, yes I did play once - but I tried not to enjoy it."

Candidate John-Paul Roop quickly took advantage of what some
Ultimate Frisbee Hugger's (UFH's) are calling Farr's Frisbee Fiasco.
Roop responded to UFH leader Shannon Purvis, cleverly labeling his
response as "TAFEL Response" and verified Shannon's claims while at the
same time promoting his own anarchist platform views.

When Farr was asked about Roop's implication of his already following
in TAFEL spokesman Kelly Waters footsteps, Farr was said to have responded
"John-Paul I knew Kelly Waters.  My office is next to his and I have
served with him in TAFEL for several years now.  I would recognize him
anywhere, and you sir, are not Kelly Waters."

In the midst of Farr's attempts to save face, Roop supporters are
spreading rumors that Farr already has plans to institute a TAFEL vs UFH
Annual Ultimate Frisbee Tournament in which slower moving TAFEL members
would act as goal posts.  Roop supporter insist these are not rumors, but
if they were, even the smallest possiblity of it being true is enough to
obligate them to let the people know.

Retiring TAFEL Spokesman Kelly Waters granted a short interview in
which he made an appeal to limit the chaos.  "Can't we all just get along?
In this time we need to remember that TAFEL is bigger then any one
person.  In a few years, no one will remember any of this, but TAFEL will
remain."  In a remarkably kind act of support UHF leader Shannon Purvis
agreed with Waters by asking "what was he trying to remember?" which
clearly suggests she thinks it will all blow over....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 5 May 2003 15:12:11 (EDT)
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: Roop Party Platform

Dear all,

I will not be seeking a new TAFEL resolution against the frisbee alliance.
Shannon Purvis has 48 hours to step down from power, or military actions
will begin at a time of my choosing.

We have been given inside intelligence information which indicates to us
that our actions are justified, and though this information is sensitive,
I can assure you that it is not right and I will not stand for it.

Diplomatic actions have been ongoing for the past several months, and now
the time for diplomacy has ended. Now is the time for WAR.

John Paul

p.s. - This e-mail has been brought to you by the CCM - Campaign for Clever
Metaphors.

p.p.s. - Paid for by Roop for TAFEL.

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Date: Thu, 8 May 2003 17:32:48
From: JASON MARTIN 
Subject: frisbee(Note the special time)

Hitler, Mussolini, Sadaam, Pinochet, Yanni .... All individuals who
history remembers less than favorably. All individuals who most
historians agree have never played ultimate frisbee.

For those of you that are already deeply imbedded in the TAFEL regime, I
fear it is too late. Not because frisbee has given up on you, but because
you have given up on frisbee.

For those of you that are still debating whether to follow the path of
good or evil, we will be playing frisbee on the field next to the
baseball stadium at a special time. We are moving it an hour earlier this
week because it's just that much fun. The start time will be 3:00. See
you all there.

Jason

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 16 May 2003 11:46:08
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Despite TAFEL demands that I step down from my position as frisbee email
writer, I would like everyone to know that I have not done so. And the fact
that Jason would so willingly step up and offer to help me out during my
brief time off the job proves how strong our group is. With that said, we
will be playing frisbee today at our regular time (4:00) on the the regular
field (next to the baseball diamond). Anyone who would like to join a
thriving organization is welcome to come play with us!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 22 May 2003 16:35:24
From: JASON MARTIN 
Subject: Frisbee

Dear Frisbee players, TAFEL members, and people who use their time wisely,

   I am honored to ne the guest writer this weak. Rarely am I given such
a previledge.

   Since my departure, TAFEL has appeared to regain its former strength.
This is very disturbing news, since I don't have cable it is the only news
I have aside from "Eye on Springfield". Certainly, Shannon has done 
everything possible to curb this uprising, aside from helping Kelly finish.  

Knowing that Kelly is resigning his post as the leader of TAFEL brings 
happiness/sadness to me. I am intersted to see what brave soul, albeit 
evil and unworthy of using Gore's child the internet, will take charge 
of TAFEL.  Anyway, this email is not to recover the past events of the 
ungoing frisbee-TAFEL conflict.

  Thus, I would like to invite everybody to play a game of frisbee at
4:00 on the field next to the baseball diamond. Of course, I will not be
there, so that should encourage more people to arrive. If you do not like
frisbee, I recommend you show up anyways and throw pies at the frisbee
players. That would amuse me.

John Villalpando

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 2003 17:53:12 (EDT)
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Frisbee & TAFEL

Hi All,

First, I must applaud the efforts of the recent Frisbee Email Writers
(FEW).  The recent guest authoring certainly dramatized the sharp positive
gradient of the quality of frisbee emails.  Thanks once again to John:)

If you are just now joining the FEW-vs-TAFEL readers list, or if you wish
to catch up on missed emails then you will be pleased to learn of the
Frisbee-TAFEL E-mail Archive currently located on my web page:

    kwaters@USCUpstate.edu. Unreliable sources claim that Sundeep appeared in a
number of episodes of DS9 - this reporter suspects these sources are more
unreliable then they are willing to admit.)

TAFEL leaders also announced that the splinter group, AGW, does NOT have
official TAFEL support; however, retiring TAFEL president, Kelly Waters,
did not deny that AGW does cooperate and indulge in some TAFEL
activities.  "TAFEL is an analogy itself.  So how could we oppose a
society who's very purpose is to support organizations like TAFEL?
Let's focus on what's important. With three candidates in the race,
this TAFEL election is likely to be the most hotly contested race in
recent TAFEL history."

Enjoy,

Kelly

ps - Individuals with initials Kelly C. or Patti S. or others
     offering assistance with the Sundeep's Secret campaign are
     NOT eligible for the bragging points. Winners are subject to
     all applicable taxes.  AGW only guarantees availablity of funds
     for a measurably finite subset of the time continuum.  AGW is
     not a TAFEL subsidiary.  This disclaimer should be in fine print,
     and is not truly intended to be large enough to read.  Anyone who
     reads this disclaimer anyway is still subject to any rules implied
     by the restriction of the inverse of the continuous bilinear mapping
     from the intended font size to the actual font size.  Tax and title
     not included.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 05 Jun 2003 17:09:46
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Jason and I have temporarily run out of ideas for the frisbee email, so it 
will have to be up to the TAFEL members to make this week's Frisbee/TAFEL 
banter interesting. Here's some topics to work with: All frisbee lovers 
will play frisbee this Friday afternoon. We will play on the field near the 
baseball diamond. We play at 4 pm.

Shannon (not a topic, just a signature)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 5 Jun 2003 22:29:39
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Shannon is a perfectly reasonable topic of conversation.

Dear Math Department,

Frisbee will occur on Friday at 4 p.m. at its usual location (behind
baseball stadium). Shannon will be there. If you would like to meet
Shannon, you should attend this event. Also, the people who just took
quals (one of which is Shannon) will probably be getting ridiculously
drunk at some downtown establishment. I suggest you go there as well.
I think that is a good idea. I don't know if Shannon will be there 
or not, but at least they have beer.

Sincerely,
JP

TAFEL Presidential Candidate, and the man voted "most disapproved of" for
Clemson, South Carolina

p.s. Shannon will be at frisbee, so everyone attend.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 7 Jun 2003 19:23:56 (EDT)
From: Virginia Rodrigues 
Subject: Re: TAFEL Election News & Analogies Gone Wild (AGW).

Dear Kelly - the older one ;):

Your English is too sophisticated for me, so I could not understand your 
message. But, anyway, it doesn't matter since all I know about Frisbee is that 
it is rounded and people run after it, almost like in soccer.

Have a good weekend,
Virginia

PS: I will add some of your vocabulary to my dissertation to look fancy :)

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 7 Jun 2003 20:00:07
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: What?

Kelly W.
Your metaphors are confusing to me and therefore not amusing. I think
maybe I should start playing frisbee. I think that's a good idea. Besides,
Shannon will be there.

JP

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Jun 2003 17:45:20
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee frisbee

Due to the overwhelming popular demand of frisbee, we have decided to offer 
TWO opportunities to play frisbee this week! Since Friday cannot pass 
without some good old frisbee playin fun, we will of course play tomorrow 
at 4 on the field near the baseball diamond. The new installment into the 
frisbee family will take place on Saturday at 4 on the field next to the 
baseball diamond. All are welcome to one game, or both. And hopefully, the 
Saturday frisbee will shake things up just enough that some TAFEL members 
will be confused and accidentally make their way out to the frisbee field 
on a new day!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Jun 2003 17:53:44
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: frisbee frisbee

SHANNON,

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WHIMPED OUT AND INCLUDED TWO FRISBEE EMAILS IN
ONE.  THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.  I INSIST UPON THE OPPORTUNITY TO RESPOND
TO TWO INVITATIONS INSTEAD OF ONE.  PLEASE SEND ME ANOTHER COPY
IMMEDIATELY.

KELLY

PS - SORRY ABOUT THE ALL CAPS BUT I AM LISTENING TO JAMES TAYLOR WITH
MY EARPHONES ON AND I WANTED TO BE SURE YOU COULD HEAR ME.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 14 Jun 2003 10:29:12
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: Prizes.

To whomever won the prize. Congratulations.
To whomever did not. Sorry.

JP

p.s. Frisbee at 4. Don't miss it.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 14 Jun 2003 16:28:22
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: crap, I missed it.

It's 4:30. I missed frisbee. Crap. Oh crap. I was just sitting drinking
the keg nobody drank. Oh wait. Hold on. The people that I trust showed up,
and we drank it all. Ha ha ha.

JP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2003 10:44:55
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Well, it finally happened. Using the excuse that he "had to bring Kevin a 
paper," Kelly Waters played frisbee on Saturday, June 14, 2003 at 5 pm on 
the field near the baseball diamond. There are rumors that he needs to give 
Kevin another paper, so since we all know this is Kelly's way of telling 
his mind that it's ok to play frisbee, we will of course play a game at 4 
on the field near the baseball diamond!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2003 12:16:25
From: Jason Martin 
Subject: frisbee

Friday (today) that is.  I'm sure most of you knew that already.  However, 
it wasn't specifically stated and I didn't want Kelly to have an excuse for 
missing.  For example, "Friday?  I thought frisbee was on Saturday.  That's 
when it was last week."  or the timeless classic "My dog ate the frisbee 
email."  Granted the last one really doesn't have to do with the whole 
Friday or Saturday issue, but now that it's out there I'm pretty sure Kelly 
won't be using it as an excuse.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2003 13:38:13
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: TAFEL - response to the FEW

Shannon, Jason,

I have my doubts as to whether any Fris-letes, TAFELers, and other
FEW/TAFEL fans, would actually believe your accusations about me trying my
hand at frisbee; however, as a soon to be retired member of TAFEL I am
bound by the TAFEL Honor Code (THC) to admit that I might have
participated in a minor and entirely insignificant way to the
fris-tivities this past Saturday.

That being said, I will point out that rumors are circulating about soon
to surface photos that prove the intensive lobbying, by select members of
the FEW, bordered along the limits of what any essentially-sane
bald-headed 29-year-old man could resist.

In any event, I appreciate the LATE reminder about frisbee this Friday.
Because I did not get an email THURSDAY I showed up by the football
field at 4 this FRIDAY morning and no one else came.  I am honestly
beginning to think that Saturday was all faked so that I would believe
that you actually do play Frisbee every friday.

Finally, Jason, I understood your implication that I have a frisbee and
perhaps even a dog to eat it.  Neither is true, but it occurs to me that
such a dog might likely be referred to as a fris-poodle.  No one else may
appreciate that, but I sure it will amuse John - much like my supposed
Saturday excursion.

Kelly

ps's  - Yes, I do have to drop off something for Kevin.

      - For those joining us late, TAFEL (The Anti-Frisbee Email League)
        and FEW (Frisbee Email Writers) are acronyms.

      - LATE, THURSDAY, and FRIDAY are not an acronyms.  They were
        capitalized for EMPHASIS (Exceptionally Minor Parenthetical Humor
        Applied Selectively, Innocuously and Spontaneously).


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2003 14:28:23
From: Chrissy Spangenberg 
Subject: Re: TAFEL - response to the FEW

TAFEL- Honor? Hah! You are really a closet disk thrower dreaming of a bright red
frisbee glistening while it spins perfectly across a beautiful blue sky, alighting
perfecting to your impressed intended target. Because you cannot attain your fantasy,
you fight against it. You should give up the fight and settle for a scuffed-up
frisbee wobbling in the general direction (if the wind is right and you don't slip on
the mud) of your bewildered intended target (or someone close by) like the rest of
us.

Chrissy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 21 Jun 2003 12:52:57
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: A Frisbee Essay

A Citizen's Response to Recent Events - A Frisbee Essay

By Tim Flowers

It is with a heavy heart and hesitant fingers that I begin to type this
essay.  Long have I quietly observed the weekly e-mail banter among the
department regarding "frisbee."  And, until recently, it was an enjoyable -
dare I say anticipated - part of my week.  However, as a citizen of this
department, I feel it is my duty to step in and have my voice heard.

Many have written concerning the department's frisbee dichotomy.  However,
it seems clear to me that our department graduate population is in fact
modeled by a basic trichotomy.  First, there are those who play frisbee and
are represented by the Frisbee E-mail Writers (the FEW).  Second, there are
those who do not play frisbee but read the various frisbee-related e-mails,
as represented by The Anti Frisbee E-Mail League (TAFEL).  Finally, there
are those who do not play frisbee and do not read the e-mails, represented
by the Frisbee E-Mail Deleters (the FEDs).

Before I continue, I feel it is necessary to publicly examine the history
of TAFEL and the FEDs.  Perhaps many of you, like myself, were unaware of
the startling connection until the events of May 29, 2003.  On this day,
Mr. Kelly Waters made known a web page with a historical account of all the
e-mails on record.  A comprehensive study of this record has been
illuminating and begs the following question:  

   Is TAFEL, at its core, an e-mail league which is anti-frisbee, OR a league 
   which is anti the e-mails about frisbee?  

Please do not brush aside the importance of this question.  It would be 
easy to do so as most of the individuals involved in the events of 4 years 
ago are gone, known to the majority of us by name only.  Save one.  The 
aforementioned Kelly Waters.  The same who claims to have provided a detailed 
history in "the Frisbee-TAFEL Email Archive" (K. Waters, e-mail, 5/29/03).  

My fellow citizens, we have been deceived!  Mr. Waters would have you believe 
that TAFEL traces their roots back to those days in October of 1999.  This is, 
quite simply, not true.  Therefore, I will take it upon myself to give a 
logical and accurate account.

No one can say with certainty when the FEW began, but reason dictates the
department trichotomy existed then as well.  The FEDs were quietly existing
and the FEW (along with the frisbee players) were just starting out.  But
what about that third group?  They read, but they did not play.  They were
disorganized, and they were silent.  They were nameless.  They were the FAR
- Frisbee Atrophied Readers.  Their physical inactivity did not stand in
the way of their reading.  They were not "anti-e-mail."  They were
"anti-frisbee."   

Being "anti-e-mail" was the role of the FEDs.  Thus, this was the state 
of the department on a brisk fall Tuesday - October 5, 1999.  Before, 
there were FEDs with FEW and FAR between.  But on that day the FEDs were 
quiet no more, if only for a short time.  They lashed out quickly and within 
days their voice fell silent again.  The FEDs live on today in great and 
silent numbers, choosing to express themselves not with the alphabet keys, 
but with their delete key.

What conclusions must follow?  Simply these: 
    1) TAFEL does not trace its roots to 1999.  
    2) TAFEL does trace its roots to FAR.

So, the all-important question has been answered.  TAFEL is and always has
been anti-frisbee (not anti-e-mail).  But when did TAFEL begin?  The name
TAFEL first appeared in an e-mail by Mr. Waters (K. Waters, e-mail,
4/18/03), but it would appear the league began in the fall of 2001.  
Contributing members to the league have been Kelly Waters, J.P. Roop, 
and Jeff Farr.   (All evidence seems to suggest that the name Farr and 
the organization FAR have no connection and are simply homonyms).
Just because some of these men were involved in the FEDs outburst of 
October '99 does not mean that TAFEL began at that time.

This leads us up to recent events.  On April 18, 2003, Mr. Waters 
announced that a search was on for "candidates for TAFEL spokesman" 
(K. Waters, e-mail, 4/18/03).   He also introduced the first three potential
candidates.  A mere 13 days later one of the FEW announced publicly, "I
remember playing frisbee with Jeff Farr once" (S. Purvis, e-mail,
5/1/03).   In early June, Mr. Roop began to announce both publicly and
privately that he was considering to "start playing frisbee" (J.P. Roop,
e-mail, 6/7/03).  Then Mr. Waters himself shows up to play frisbee on
Saturday June 14, offering absurd excuses in the aftermath.  

Mr. Waters, I say this to you here publicly for all to read - we did not 
believe Sammy Sosa's lame excuse and would have been more apt to forgive 
him if he had been honest.  May you learn a lesson from his failures.

Now, you may be asking yourself "Why should I care?"   You may be wondering
if I've gone to FAR.  But, before I present my final conclusions, I must
address one more issue - the impending TAFEL spokesperson election.  It has
never been made clear what the qualifications are for the candidates and,
more importantly, who is eligible to vote.  Has this information has been
purposefully withheld by Mr. Waters?  Could this be because he does not
actually want an election to occur?  Could it be he would rather see TAFEL
fall apart then allow someone else to take the lead?  Let us all hope it
was merely an oversight.

My fellow citizens, I present the following declarations in conclusion:

1.  Jason Martin was inherently mistaken and incorrect in his conclusions
    of May 29 that "TAFEL by definition is a contradiction" (J. Martin, e-mail,
    5/29/03).  Why was he incorrect?  Because TAFEL is "anti-frisbee" and not
    "anti-e-mail."

2.  Since TAFEL (and before them, FAR) is "anti-frisbee," then its members
    and spokesperson should be those who do not play frisbee.

3.  The contention that a spokesperson needs to be chosen for TAFEL is
    problematic at best.  By definition, anyone who is a member of TAFEL,
    should be sending "anti-frisbee" e-mails.  What TAFEL needs is a leader.

4.  TAFEL is not anti the FEW or the frisbee players.  Thus, comparisons to
    "Hitler, Mussolini, . . . [and] Yanni" (J. Martin, e-mail, 5/8/03), while
    humorous, are not only inaccurate, but also potentially offensive.

5.  I do not have the desire or ability to define the feelings and thoughts
    of an entire league.  I have merely pointed out the truth as seen by a
    careful study of the facts.

6.  The purpose of the essay has been primarily to point out and clarify
    the inaccuracies of recent e-mails.  However, it serves the secondary
    purpose of publicly and proudly announcing my guileless membership in
    TAFEL.  The true TAFEL descended from FAR, not the "anti-e-mail" FEDs.

7.  I call all current members of TAFEL and all the "candidates for
    spokesperson" to join me in supporting an election, not of a spokesperson,
    but of a leader.  All members would write on a rotating basis, with one
    person to lead.  Not a dictator, a leader.

8.  It is not my current desire or intention to be a candidate for the
    TAFEL leader position.  However, I believe strongly enough in the mission
    of TAFEL that I would reluctantly agree to run if so urged by the TAFEL
    members.

9.  It is not my intent herein to "mud-sling" on any of Mr.'s Waters, Roop,
    or Farr.  Only to point out what facts are known.

10. It is my deep and sincere hope that the citizenry of this department
    can continue to co-exist in its current trichotomy and not allow the
    differences between groups to cause any dislike, hatred, or fighting.

Please feel free to forward this along to any other frisbee players or
readers who are not on the "GSS_MTHSC_GRAD_STUDENTS-L" list (but not to any
FEDs as that would just be a waste).  Public and/or private responses are
welcome.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2003
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: Response from Algae

Hello all.

I am writing in response to the latest barrage of frisbee e-mails. I am
writing on behalf of my newly formed group, the Allied Group Against
Everything, or ALGAE. We disapprove of your actions, as we know that the
original intent of TAFEL was to stop the mass production of e-mails.
However, as the game became more hilarious, some people started to play.
Kelly Waters even played. Everybody plays. Does that mean that I have to
start playing?

In a sense I am responding to try to have the voice of algae heard. Thus,
I expect a response from the Allied Group Against Everything Except All
That Exist Really Sadly (ALGAE EATERS).

Thank you for your time,

JP

p.s. Because I'm JP.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2003 14:52:04
From: Charles Allen 
Subject: SUN workstations

We are getting several new SUN workstations for E7. I think we are
replacing all four. I need suggestions for their names.

-Charles

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2003 15:02:09
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: SUN workstations

> We are getting several new SUN workstations for E7.
> I need suggestions for their names.
> -Charles

I suggest FEW, FED, TAFEL, and Frisbee :)

Kelly

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2003 15:14:12 (EDT)
From: Virginia Rodrigues 
Subject: SUN workstations

I suggest Virginia, Noether, Sophie, Germain and other famous women in math :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 26 Jun 2003 16:33:29
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Frisbee player numbers have drastically dropped this week as frisbee 
enthusiasts are traveling to visit their friends and loved ones, going to 
conferences, or moving to Ohio. If you're not a regular player, tomorrow 
(Friday) at 4 pm would be a perfect time to find the field near the 
baseball diamond. We're already counting Kelly Waters in the "coming" 
column and yes, JP, I think that you will now have to start playing 
frisbee. Because you're JP.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003 10:02:23
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: Frisbee article

I don't know if any of you have seen this article yet, but I caught this on
the AP's web site the other day and thought you might like to read it, so
I'm forwarding it along.

Tim

   >Associated Press (6/25/03)
   >
   >HARTFORD - A suit has been filed today in the Connecticut Superior Court
   >against the Frisbee E-Mail Writers (FEW) and frisbee players of Clemson
   >University.  The plaintiffs in the case are Virginia Governor Mark Warner,
   >four Big East presidents, Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal,
   >and Yanni.  The suit alleges that the FEW have "knowingly and deliberately
   >plotted to destroy TAFEL" by "persuading [TAFEL's] members to abandon their
   >long standing loyalties."
   >
   >However, a spokesperson for TAFEL (The Anti-Frisbee E-Mail League) said
   >their organization would not "participate in or endorse any civil action
   >wherein Yanni is a co-plaintiff."  Unidentified FEW sources, speaking on
   >the condition of anonymity, said "We believe this is the right time for
   >expansion and will continue to add [players] no matter what the cost."
   >
   >FEW spokesperson Shannon Purvis could not be reached for comment.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: Frisbee

Will Shannon be there?

JP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003 10:44:05
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: TAFEL Response & Election News

Shannon & All,

Thank you for the Frisbee invitation.  I regret to hear that some of the
Frisbee players are moving to Ohio.  I will contact the Ohio chapter of
TAFEL and warn them.  Also, I see that we finally whole heartedly agree on
an issue.  JP is in fact JP.

With the TAFEL Election taking place next week, I would like to remind
everyone - if you have not already registered to vote, please do so now.
To do so, send an email with subject line "TAFEL Voter Registration" to
StopTheFrisbeeEmailMadness@TAFEL.org.

In any event, as a part of the never ending task of reducing the number
of Frisbee related emails, I have included the latest news item from the
TAFEL Election News (TEN) below:

     With the TAFEL Spokesman Election only days away, Tim Flowers burst
     onto the scene with a brilliant historical essay that immediately
     placed him firmly in the race for TAFEL Spokesman. JP Roop and Jeff
     Farr both denied concern - citing Flowers' Essay as a lucky fifteen
     minutes in the public eye rather than what some are calling Flowers
     Power Hour.  Remarkably, normally outspoken candidate Sundeep
     declined to comment publically on the matter.  But retiring TAFEL
     spokesman Kelly Waters said "He obviously has talent as a historian,
     and although I doubt many believe I really played Frisbee, his
     centerline platform appears to appeal to the majority. Farr, Roop,
     and Sundeep will have to step up campaigns to stay in the race."

Regards,

Kelly

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 03 Jul 2003 23:05:57
From: Jason Martin 
Subject: frisbee

It's that time again.  The time when we as a nation celebrate our 
collective birth which brought about independence.  The time when we 
commemorate the ideals of a relative handful of visionaries.  Ideals 
which were adopted by many and still ring true today.

You guessed it ...... I'm speaking of frisbee Friday.

If you would like to show your support, please join us tomorrow (Friday) at 
4pm on the field next to the baseball stadium.  FEW are welcome.  All are 
allowed.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2003 10:36:49
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Photographic evidence for the advancement of frisbee has finally arrived. 
The first photograph below, labeled 'Kelly before frisbee,' shows former 
TAFEL spokesman Kelly Waters with two current frisbee players before his 
first frisbee experience. [L-R Kirsten, Kelly, Shannon]
You can clearly see that he is confident in the fact that he was and 
always would be a TAFEL member. The second photo, 'Kelly after frisbee,' 
shows Kelly after the frisbee experience and obviously speaks for itself. 
At this point in time, it is evident that Kelly has shed all previous ties 
to any anti-frisbee\anti-frisbee email establishment and has become and 
forever will remain a frisbee player. If anyone out there believes they are 
stronger than Kelly and would be able to resist the transformation, we 
challenge you to come to the field near the baseball diamond today 
(Friday) at 4 pm.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2003 11:30:39
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: TAFEL member's response to the photos

Admittedly, these last days of the Waters administration have been nothing
short of scandalous.  His repeated "frisbee playing" followed by a string
of ridiculous excuses not the least of these.  He also has continued to
delay the promised TAFEL spokesperson elections with lame excuses like, "I
have to prepare a presentation for my Ph.D. defense."  He says this as if
he expects us to believe this is a big event or something.

However, I must take issue with the methods Ms. Purvis and the FEW have
stooped to with the recent "pictures."  No one reading her message can
seriously believe the change seen in those pictures was indeed a result of
frisbee.  Does she honestly expect us to believe his reaction would have
been the same had his picture been taken with Jason, Jeremy, and John?  My
fellow citizens, the FEW have joined the SUN, National Enquirer, and the
New York Times in the practice of manufacturing false news stories.  This
must stop.

However, I once again call to Mr. Waters to end the delay and hold the
TAFEL spokesperson elections sooner rather than later.

Still a concerned citizen,

Tim

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2003 15:01:59
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: TAFEL Election News - Scandals Abound

TAFEL Spokeman Waters announced that apparently a few FEW broke into the
TAFEL files and relabeled two compromising photos entitled 'TAFEL Leader
begins Seige on FEW' and "TAFEL Declares Victory." TAFEL authorities are
investigating the matter, but Waters said "Give it a rest guys.  Look at
the photo.  Would you rather be the TAFEL member or one of the FEW?"

When asked to comment on Candidate Flowers allegations about delaying the
election, Waters remarked "I understand his concern, but the election
ballots had to be edited, and the preforations recalibrated."

Off the record, unreliable witnesses confirmed rumors that last weeks
election was cancelled after astute voters noticed Tim Flowers name was
listed four times, and that voting for other candidates required an
icepick and a hammer.

Uncharacteristically, Sundeep declined to comment about the scandal - but
our photographer captured the emotions of the moment in this priceless
rare photo showing just how deeply affected TAFEL members really are.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 17 Jul 2003 22:38:38
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

I know that the distractions of summer have prevented many of us from 
keeping up with each other's lives. This week, I felt that there have been 
some events worth knowing about, so for this email, I am providing a 
timeline of the happenings of the week.

Sun.  7/13 - Nate and Mandy get married

Mon.  7/14 - Katie, Tracy, and Shannon prepare to move next week 
             (this is the only thing I could come up with for Monday)

Tue.  7/15 - the "Floating Bowling Balls" win trivia at Mellow Mushroom

Wed.  7/16 - Mary adds another year to her age

Thur. 7/17 - the "Communist Party of 10" goes down in flames at Rockhoppers 
             trivia

Fri.  7/18 - TAFEL traitor Kelly Waters defends his thesis at 2 pm and 
             everyone gathers to play frisbee at 4 pm on the field near 
             the baseball diamond.

See you all there!

Shannon

PS Jason I went ahead and sent it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 18 Jul 2003 11:41:18
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: State of the TAFEL

Mr. Kelly Waters will be giving the State of the TAFEL Address this
afternoon at 2 PM in Martin M-105.  Despite FEW attempts to delay this
event, it will go on as scheduled.

On my drive to campus this morning, I pulled off of Route 76 at the bottom
of the hill on this side of Tri-County Tech to talk to the county engineers
and news reporters who were on the scene.  This is not official yet, but I
heard two unconfirmed reports that a small group of people were seen last
night at that location near the now "broken" water-main.  None of these
individuals were identified, but were reportedly throwing a "small plastic
disc" at the water-main.  I informed the reporter from News Channel 7, who
was on the scene, that I know of a FEW suspects.

I hope to see everyone this afternoon at 2:00 in M-105.  Perhaps the
election results will be included in the address.

Tim

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tue, 29 Jul 2003 21:58:25 (EDT)
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: TAFEL & Graduation

Hi All,

Well, I made the deadlines.  I submitted my manuscript and it was approved
by the graduate school today.  I graduate in August.

In case you could not hear me from where you are -

YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Also, I apologize for the lack of TAFEL emails.  Tim has done his best to
compensate, and you have all been very patient, for which I express my
gratitude.  Nonetheless, it is now time to move forward and complete the
election process.  I will do my best to get this done and over with so
life can get back to normal.

Regards,

Kelly

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 01 Aug 2003 10:26:38
From: JASON  MARTIN 
Subject: frisbee

I don't have the most time in the world today so I'll be kind of 
direct.  We will be playing frisbee today at the field by the baseball 
stadium at 4pm.  Hope to see everyone there.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 21 Aug 2003 17:27:19
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hi all! What better way to start the semester off than with a frisbee
email? I've had a lot of comments recently about the lack of emails the
past couple weeks, so I will deprive everyone no longer. For those of you
who don't know (new students) and those of you who have somehow forgotten
(is it possible?), I wanted to let you know that Friday is a big day around
the math department. 

More commonly referred to as Frisbee Friday by a FEW, it is the day that a 
group of math students plus some friends and loved ones get together to play 
ultimate frisbee. No prior experience in ultimate, throwing a frisbee, or even 
sports is necessary. We'll tell and show you everything you need to know in 
about 2 minutes. We meet at 4 pm on the field next to the baseball diamond to 
throw the frisbee around a little and then start a game sometime after that. 
If you need to come late, that's fine, just come whenever you can get there.

I'm not sure what the best way to describe how to get to the field is, so
I'll try this. Find the football stadium. There's a large parking lot (P-3)
between the stadium and Perimeter Road. Across Perimeter Rd. is another
parking lot (P-4), and behind that is a large field. We play in that field.

If that doesn't make sense, you can find a campus map here..
We play on the intramural fields at BB-6. If that still doesn't make sense, 
find me (my office is M-304) or anyone else that plays frisbee, and we'll 
get you there.

See everyone tomorrow!!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed, 27 Aug 2003 16:49:17 (EDT)
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: TAFEL Election News (KW Final? Edition)

Hi All,

The TAFEL election results are in, and the FPA (Flower Power Activists)
can honestly say their hard work paid off.  After a worldwind campainge,
Tim Flowers managed to steal the title of TAFEL Spokeman away from JP
Roop, Sundeep Samson, Jeff Farr.  Flowers was quoted by unreliable sources
as saying "Whoops, I forgot to vote."  On the other hand, Farr conceded
that he had not pressed the issue as he normally would because soon he
will be Farr from Clemson in Canada.  Sundeep appeared greatly
disappointed, but remained uncharacteristicly silent - declining any
official comment except a mumbled "Was the vote on Sunday or Tuesday?"

JP Roop was unavailable for comment, but unreliable sources say "Roop
only differentiates halfway now-days, and sometime less than that.  We
need a Spokeman that fully differentiates. I mean, how can you take half a
derivative, or half an integral.  How do you decide what part to leave
off?  I mean, like d/dx x^3 = 3x^2, so I guess the left half derivative is
3x, and the right half derivative is ^2. I suppose that might make sense
if two people are working on the derivative. But even then the guy on the
right has to learn to do it backwards."

Outgoing TAFEL Spokesman Kelly Waters had a only a few remarks - "I am
confident that Tim will serve TAFEL well - although I am somewhat
concerned about the lack of TAFEL emails lately.  I suppose, in light of
the recent FEW hasty and ambiguous emails, it could be that the FEW have
finally been beaten.  In any event, this administration has accomplished
much, and at a minimum, we are leaving TAFEL with fertile ground for
Flowers."

Regards,

Kelly

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 28 Aug 2003 10:03:28
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: TAFEL Spokesman acceptance

I am honored and humbled to officially accept the title of "TAFEL 
Spokesman" on behalf of all citizens of the department community.  I will 
embrace this title and its duties effective immediately.

First, however, I must quell an unfortunate rumor.  It seems that some 
less-than-reputable news sources have begun to report that Sundeep Samson 
is leading a campaign for a recall petition and will support Gary Coleman 
in a recall vote.  Sundeep's surprising silence recently has only served to 
feed this rumor.  Well, that and the fact that he and Gary look like they 
could be twins (if you've never noticed this, click and see for yourself.
This rumor is untrue, however.  Sundeep has agreed to be a member of my 
administrative team and I expect him to be an active and irreproachable 
TAFEL participant for many years to come.

My first act as TAFEL spokesman will be to nominate our former 
spokesperson, Mr. Kelly Waters for the first TAFEL lifetime award - the 
Medal Evidencing Distinguished Service (the MEDS).  Most know that Mr. 
Waters and I have had our differences.  However, where would Flowers be 
without Waters?  So, I intend to do whatever I can to ensure that he gets 
his MEDS.

Another crucial task in these first days of my administration will be to 
provide a historical and ideological perspective of TAFEL for all those who 
are new to the department and/or unfamiliar with who we are.  Look for this 
in the coming weeks.

Anyone who has questions about TAFEL or an interest in becoming an active 
member should feel free to contact me or any member of my administrative team.

Humbly Yours,

Tim Flowers, The Anti-Frisbee E-Mail League Spokesman

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 28 Aug 2003 12:12:20 (EDT)
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: Hasta La Vista, Flowers

Hello all,

In light of the recent displeasure among voters who felt they were cheated
by the fact that the TAFEL election was both non-existent and unfair. I
have decided to also add my name to the list of potential TAFEL
spokespersons in the TAFEL recall effort. I am strongly disappointed in
Mr. Flowers' attempts to live up to TAFEL's esteemed (?) and long history.
I feel that we need a different voice to stand up the the FEW (Frisbee
E-mail Writers), and in fact, need to take specific actions in order to
subvert those who play frisbee from gaining support. In fact, a recent
press photo indicates my interest in the job of TAFEL spokesperson.
http://www.ces.clemson.edu/~jroop/roopflowers.htm

Thank you for your support,

JP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 29 Aug 2003 06:50:54
From: Jason Martin 
Subject: frisbee

Hello all,

    We will be playing frisbee today starting at 4:30.  Due to the large
influx of people in and around campus today we have decided to move the
event off campus.  We will be playing at Nettles Park, which is located
just off Issaqueena Trail.  If you get on 123 north from Clemson,
Issaqueena is the first exit you will see.  Take Issaqueena Trail toward
Pendleton.  Shortly, the road will split(<1mile?).  You will take the left
fork (Nettles Park Rd.).  You will see an entrance to Nettles Park on your
left.  Once you enter the park, follow the road all the way to the
back.  This is where the field is located.  It will be adjacent to the
tennis courts.  If you have any questions feel free to ask.  I will check
my email till about 3:30 today.  

Hope to see everyone there.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 4 Sep 2003 12:15:36
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

The confusion and displeasure over recent TAFEL elections and events have
made me wonder what must be going through the heads of those individuals
trying to decide whether their allegiance should lie with frisbee fans
everywhere, or TAFEL. With the seeming disarray of TAFEL lately, and the
quiet humbleness of the frisbee emails, what is one to think? Is there
really animosity between the two groups? Yes, there is a SUN in the
computer lab named frisbee and there is a SUN named tafel. And no, I don't
use the tafel machine. I usually use tutte. I am not one to sling mud. I
will, however, point out the qualities of the frisbee group that have been
evident in the past few weeks and all our previous frisbee playing years.

We play every Friday at 4 and we always play on the field near the baseball
diamond unless there are too many campers with tailgating fans arriving
early to watch the downfall of our once glorious football team yet again.
And if there is a change in one of these things, we will always let you
know. Barring any thesis presentations or momentary lapses of memory, we
send out an email every week, aptly labelled "frisbee" to remind you of
these things in case you momentarily forget. And we gladly welcome any
confused TAFEL members wondering if frisbee is the way to go. So, as
always, we will play frisbee tomorrow (Friday) at 4 on the field near the
baseball diamond. 

See you all there!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 04 Sep 2003 14:41:58
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: Official TAFEL Response

I would like to begin by responding to the misinformation JP distributed 
last week.  First, he claimed the TAFEL spokesperson election was "both 
non-existent and unfair."  We all know, of course, that it is impossible to 
be both of these things.  If he believes it was unfair, that implies that 
it did in fact happen.  I think I may conclude that by "unfair" he means 
that he did not have an opportunity to vote.  This, however, was his own 
fault.  Consider the following statement, a direct quote from Mr. Roop's 
e-mail of 6/24/03:

"I am writing on behalf of my newly formed group, the Allied Group Against 
Everything, or ALGAE. We disapprove of your actions . . . "

Mr. Roop voluntarily removed himself from his membership in TAFEL and thus, 
now, has no right to vote in or protest the results of the TAFEL election 
process.  I am sure he will continue to protest for various unfounded 
reasons, but let me state clearly for the record that he is NOT endorsed by 
or affiliated with TAFEL in any way.

This brings me to a question I wish to pose to Miss Purvis and the 
FEW.  Where in the TAFEL membership is the "confusion," "displeasure," and 
"disarray" of which you speak?  I can answer this for you.  There is 
none.  My administration's first priority since the beginning of my 
campaign has been that "the citizenry of this department can continue to 
co-exist in its current trichotomy."   I will leave the inner workings of 
the FEW and the FED's to their respective leadership and request they do 
the same for TAFEL.

Finally, let me say to any new or unaffiliated citizens of the department 
that I am looking forward to welcoming the first group of new members under 
my administration.  I look forward to hearing from all those who are 
interested.  We must move quickly to get Mr. Waters his MEDS.

Tim

**************************************************************

Quick "Department Trichotomy" reference list:

        TAFEL = "The Anti-Frisbee E-Mail League"
        FEW = "Frisbee E-Mail Writers"
        FED's = "Frisbee E-Mail Deleters"

**************************************************************

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2003 10:44:17
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hi all,

In honor of the first ever Clemson-MTSU football game tomorrow, we will
play a game of frisbee at 4 on the field near the baseball diamond. Since
it is also Youth Day tomorrow, those of us that are older will celebrate
this by remembering our youth as we watch the younger players jump higher,
run faster, and throw the frisbee farther. 

Come join us!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 10:41:25
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

I'm sure everyone is wondering about the state of frisbee this week. First,
a little background information....for a long time now, the frisbee players
have been thinking that it would be fun to play frisbee at night.....end
background information. This week, the SIAM picnic has provided us with a
perfect excuse to do just that. So, after everyone goes to the picnic and
eats a bunch of food, we are going to meet and try to find a place with
lights that we can turn on so that we can play frisbee. We will meet at
8:30 on the intramural fields across the road from Fike. Now, there are two
intramural fields across the road from Fike. We are going to meet on the
field closest to the football stadium. The other field has a volleyball net
on one side, so if you end up there, you're in the wrong place! We'll start
out there and see if we can turn on the lights and then go from there!!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2003 23:58:19
From: Jeremy Lyle 
Subject: Weekly Frisbee Email

Frisbee at 4 (more like 4:30) in the field next to the baseball stadium.

Less work than walking to your parking space and more fun than anything you
can do with flowers, waters, or any other types of gardening supplies.
(I apologize to everyone who loves to garden.)

Try it, and you may find you like it even more than this man loves soup.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 13:59:26
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

All right, you all know the deal. We're playing frisbee tomorrow on the
field next to the baseball diamond. Come out and play. Or just come out and
watch. That's fine too.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2003 10:39:51
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: FRISBEE: FIELD UPDATE, FRIDAY EVENTS

FRISBEE: CLEMSON MEETS CLEMSON IN HOMECOMING GAME

Clemson's Homecoming frisbee match-up Friday, Oct. 10, with the
Clemson math department and others will kick off at 4 pm.

This frisbee weekend update contains news of special frisbee
locations as well as other fun diversions for a fall weekend:

1. TAILGATING MAY CAUSE FRISBEE GAME TO BE MOVED
2. 'WHERE THE TIGERS PLAY' STILL TO BE DETERMINED
3. 'PASS-OUTS' NOT ALLOWED; SECURITY STILL A PRIORITY
4. POST-GAME ACTIVITIES INCLUDE A FOOTBALL GAME

------------------------------------------------------

1. TAILGATING MAY CAUSE FRISBEE GAME TO BE MOVED

Early celebration for tomorrow's football game (see #4) will bring many
campers and tailgaters to the field near the baseball diamond. Frisbee
players will need to discuss upon arrival at the normal field whether the
game should be moved to another location.

------------------------------------------------------

2. 'WHERE THE TIGERS PLAY' STILL TO BE DETERMINED

All frisbee players will meet at the field near the baseball diamond at 4 pm
or shortly thereafter. If playing at the normal field doesn't seem possible,
the game will be moved to the intramural field across from Fike and next
to the stadium. If that doesn't work, we will move to Nettles Park. If
arriving
late to the game, try the fields in this order: 1. baseball field  2.
intramural
field  3. Nettles Park.

-------------------------------------------------------

3. 'PASS-OUTS' NOT ALLOWED; SECURITY STILL A PRIORITY

Sickness on the frisbee field is never encouraged.

--------------------------------------------------------

4. POST-GAME ACTIVITIES INCLUDE A FOOTBALL GAME

Apparently the university is also hosting a football game this weekend. Go
see the floats.


Sorry about the length of the email, see you all at frisbee!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 12:01:06
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hey everyone! Come out today and play frisbee with a Jeopardy
CHAMPION!!!!!! Although Katie is now famous among Jeopardy watchers
everywhere for beating Sean, the first-ever 6 day Jeopardy champion (come
on, was there anyone in the world watching Jeopardy last night and NOT
cheering for Katie to win?), we will keep our humble roots and play on the
field near the baseball diamond at 4 or soon after. Of course, we will stop
playing in plenty of time to watch Katie on Jeopardy tonight, 7:30, channel
13!!

Great job Katie! We're so proud of you!!!!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 12:38:27
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

On behalf of the entire TAFEL membership, I would like to extend
congratulations to Miss Durham on her Jeopardy victory.  Unfortunately, on
this day of happiness and celebration I must caution her and our entire
graduate citizenry of a recent disturbing FEW trend.

Last week the FEW used the Clemson homecoming game as the inspiration for
the "weekly frisbee e-mail" then failed to show to support the Tigers in
their thrilling overtime victory.  We here at TAFEL have heard reports that
the reason for this withdrawal of their support was "bad weather."  However, 
the weather was described by some of the Frisbee Players as "nearly perfect."  
Clearly, this was just an excuse.

So, as disappointing as this will be, TAFEL expects the FEW to similarly
abandon Miss Durham today.  We expect them to offer excuses such as "out of
town" or "in a car."  But, truth be told, their support just does not reach
far enough.

TAFEL members will not participate today in watching Jeopardy with Miss
Durham and the Frisbee Players since we avoid all Frisbee sanctioned
events.  We do have our own TAFEL event planned, however, and we (unlike
the FEW) will continue to offer support and cheer for Miss Durham.

Humbly on behalf of TAFEL,


Tim

P.S. Thanks to Sundeep for writing the TAFEL responses the past couple of
     weeks.  I hope everyone enjoyed them as much as I did.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 24 Oct 2003 10:30:06
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Well it looks like it's already Friday, which means that it's already time
for frisbee again! So, as always, we'll play frisbee on the the field near
the baseball diamond starting soon after 4. Come out and have fun!!

Shannon

PS I would like to clear up any misconceptions people may have on the
   supportiveness of the FEW and the frisbee players. While TAFEL members were
   also offering never-mentioned excuses such as "dropping someone off at the
   airport," frisbee players "in the car" stopped at an exit and watched last
   week's Jeopardy excitement in a hotel lobby and "out of town" frisbee
   players stayed on their cell phones for the entire half hour to get a play
   by play of the game. We show our support even when absent.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 30 Oct 2003 13:53:55
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Hi All,

As always, I am pleased to have heard from Shannon; but I am especially
pleased that she has finally admitted that Frisbee players are scary
characters.

I am sure that this admission from the FEW will be remembered fondly
in the next editions of the FEW/TAFEL history -- just think of it,
Shannon's remarks and the demise of the FEW, might one day be compared to
George Washington cutting down the cherry tree.  A moment to remember for
sure...

Later,

Kelly

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 30 Oct 2003 13:38:26
From: John Paul Roop 
Subject: Re: frisbee

I'll be dressed as one of the orange cones. I think Tim will be too. Be
sure to be nice to us while we are doing our jobs.

JP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 30 Oct 2003 12:07:34
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Got a Halloween costume and nowhere to wear it? Think you in tennis shoes
is costume enough? Whatever costume you may or may not have, wear it to the
field near the baseball diamond just after four tomorrow for a game of
frisbee. Possible costumes include, t-shirt and shorts/pants and tennis
shoes, 70's runners and their trainer, Bible characters and a tree......

See you all there,

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 7 Nov 2003 11:41:35
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hey everyone, it's Friday again and time for another frisbee game. Good job
to the TAFEL members who dressed like orange cones last week. You all
looked just like our usual cones. So today, as every Friday, we will play
frisbee on the field near the baseball diamond a little after 4. If campers
and early tailgaters for the Florida State game seem to be a problem, we'll
try to move the game to the intramural fields next to the stadium and
across from Fike and if that won't work either, then we'll move to Nettles
Park. However, if overheard conversations around campus are any indication
("Why go to the game tomorrow? We're just going to get crushed."), the
normal field won't be a problem!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 11:43:00
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hey everyone, it's great weather for frisbee, so come out and play on the
field near the baseball diamond at 4. Since it gets dark earlier now, let's
try to start as close to four as possible to maximize our frisbee playing
time!

Shannon

PS Brian will be playing today, so we know we're in for some spectacular
   catches in the inzone!! Come out and watch!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003 13:15:33
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Looks like it's time for our special Thanksgiving frisbee gathering on the
field near the baseball diamond at 4. Unfortunately, no one volunteered to
bring the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, or the dessert, so
none of the Thanksgiving fixin's will be there. However, we will have a
frisbee and some orange cones and probably some fun, so everyone is welcome
to come out and enjoy the game!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 11:36:34
From: Jason Martin
Subject: frisbee

Shannon has asked me to write the frisbee email this week as she is busy
with the two things she cares most about, malt liquor and hurting
puppies.  Since I have been delegated this task, I thought I would take it
upon myself to recognize an amazing person.

As we quickly approach the end of the year, it's that time again.  That's
right, time to announce the winner of the "Outstanding Achievement on the
Frisbee Field" award.

Really, only one name comes to mind when I think of the words Outstanding
and Achievement.  When you combine those two words with frisbee, it's
really a no-brainer ......

.....I humbly accept the award and would like to thank the little people
who throw the frisbee so poorly that it makes every catch I make
bewildering to behold.  It's these same special people whom I throw my
pinpoint accurate passes to so that even they can not drop them.  I
recognize all that you do for me and am very thankful.

Oh yeah.  If you would like to come out and make me look good, we will be
playing frisbee on the field by the baseball diamond today at 4:15.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2003 20:40:32
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

It looks like there's enough people around to play a game of frisbee
tomorrow, so if you're tired of studying/doing take-home exams/giving
finals/grading/whatever else you might do during finals week, come out and
join us! We'll play on the field near the baseball diamond at 4 pm.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
top
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 8 Jan 2004 15:36:42
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

I'm sure everyone missed the weekly frisbee email while they were away from
classes. Well, never fear, the frisbee email is back! And so is our
ultimate frisbee game. We'll play on Friday (yes, I know it'll be cold)
soon after 4 on the field near the baseball diamond. Everyone is welcome,
whether you've played frisbee or not, so if anyone is interested and
doesn't know where I'm talking about, just email me back and I'll give you
directions. See you all there!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 16 Jan 2004 21:58:31
From: Kelly Waters 
Subject: Email Address

Hi All,

I have a new e-mail address, and my ces.clemson account will probably
close soon.  To reach me in the future, please use this e-mail address
kwaters@USCUpstate.edu. 
I will move to Spartanburg soon, but for now, my phone and mailing 
address are the same as before.

Kelly

aka The Real Kelly

aka Man Kelly

aka Dr. Daddy

aka TAFEL Founder and Spokesman - Semi-retired

aka FEDS anti-hero

aka FEW catalyst

aka The guy who knows about that FICA stuff that happens every Fall

aka Only Clemson graduate student mistakenly tenured

aka That guy that looks Artur - from the Martin Hall 3rd floor balcony

aka AA Lifetime Member (Acronymists Anonymous)

aka Founder of the Counsel for EMPHASIS (Exceptionally Minor Parenthetical
    Humor Applied Selectively, Innocuously and Spontaneously)

aka Record holder for hours spent in Martin O-8

aka Co-arthur of the Danzig Wolfe Blues - performed complete with hats,
    shades and harmonica with Roy Segars for Saltzman 813 Group Presentation

aka Only grad student crazy enough to sing an 813 Group Presentation with
    Roy Segars

aka Only 29 year old graduate student close to Roy Segars age

aka One of the only two graduate students to receive an A for an off-key
    rendition of the Danzig Wolfe Blues

aka The guy who remembered the gas shortage for Ann-Jeannette - to
    account for her outlying data points - only because he read about it
    and certainly not because he bought gas back then

aka Long term member - Brian Hunt's TD's Pot Roast Lunch Bunch

aka Record holder - most seminars with the same title
    "The Glowinski-Pironneau Pressure Decomposition"

aka Longest pine login in babbage history

aka Most abusive use of aka in Clemson Mathematical Sciences graduate
    student e-mail list history

aka Kelly Waters

ps - hope this e-mail finds you well

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Jun 2004 12:23:00
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

At a brief question and answer time last night, current/former(?) TAFEL
spokesman Time Flowers said "Yeah, I'll be [at frisbee] tomorrow," a very
exciting announcement. He then went on to say "just like I am every
Friday." This can only lead one to the surprising conclusion that while
vehemently protesting all things frisbee, he secretly attended all our
games, watching from afar, hoping to one day get the courage to join us on
the field near the baseball diamond. Tim, and everyone like him, we will
welcome you to the game today at 4:38 on our regular field. See you all there.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Jun 2004 12:01:05
From: Tim Flowers
Subject: Re: frisbee

I have been asked many times in the last few months, "Why hasn't there been
a TAFEL e-mail in a while?"  I have always given the same reason - there
has not been a need.  The FEW had, in effect, surrendered.  Their messages
over these last months have been nothing but boring banter and recycled
jokes.  Although they had not formally admitted defeat, most interested
parties expected the admission at any time.

This, however, all changed yesterday.  Although the FEW still has almost
none of its former clout, they appear to have rediscovered their ability to
distort the truth and slander the fine citizens of our department.  What I
found even more shocking (and, to be honest, quite a bit more disturbing)
was that several people seem to have actually believed the claims and
implications in yesterday's frisbee e-mail.  We can only assume that these
people have forgotten how the FEW used to be (since it has been quite a
long time).

Thus, I feel it is my duty to briefly respond to yesterday's
message.  First, I am proud to say that I am in my 10th month as the
official TAFEL spokesman.  There is nothing "former" about my position.

Second, I believe I must explain to the FEW the concept of
sarcasm.   Sarcasm (according to dictionary.com) is defined as "A form of
wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make
its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule."  To put it another way, I
should remind them of the old saying, "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid
answer."   If the FEW or the frisbee players continue to ask me week after
week to attend or participate in frisbee, they should not be surprised when
they are greeted with sarcasm or facetiousness.  So, while yesterday's
frisbee e-mail did quote me correctly, it purposefully distorted the
obvious meaning of my words.  Additionally, I should point out that this
use of sarcasm on my part occurred off the record.  The FEW are welcome to
have direct quotations from me on the record at any time, in which case I
will show them the professional courtesy of avoiding all sarcastic responses.

Third, I will now state clearly and for the record that I have never played
in any of the frisbee games.  I have also never "secretly attended,"
"watch[ed] from afar," or been lacking in "courage" with anything related
to frisbee.  These remarks were insulting and purposefully misleading.

Finally, I feel I should also respond directly to the current FEW.  Pardon
my bluntness, Miss Purvis, but if you insist on using my first name in your
e-mails, I would ask you show me courtesy and respect by spelling it
correctly.  While we are aware of your abhorrence of a broad vocabulary and
your aversion to large words, we do believe you are capable of competently
spelling 3-letter names.

Humbly on behalf of TAFEL,


Tim Flowers,
TAFEL Spokesman


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 23:29:24
From: Jason Martin
Subject: Frisbee FAQ

I've noticed several new faces around the department, most of which I
haven't seen on the frisbee field.  I thought I might try to answer a few
questions you may be having.

________________

Q:  What is ultimate frisbee?

A:  Ultimate frisbee combines speed, grace and powerful(sometimes) hurling
    with a grueling(seldom) pace ... Ultimate is an exciting, non-contact team
    sport, played by thousands the world over.

_________________

Q:  But I can't throw a frisbee at all, let alone hurl one powerfully.  Is
    Ultimate frisbee for me?

A:  Absolutely!  We have players of all skill levels.  The only way to
    improve is to try.  Besides, can anyone really throw a frisbee well?  I
    mean it's not even ball shaped in the least.

__________________

Q:  I'm still having reservations.  After all, I'm not into sports.  How
    intense is the competition?

A:  It depends on your definition of intense.  If by intense you mean a
    friendly game where no one keeps score, then it's pretty intense.

__________________

Q:  How long have people in the math department been involved with
    Ultimate frisbee?

A:  While I'm sure there's always been some sort of connection, possibly
    involving Kevin Bacon, we've been playing a regular game for roughly 6
    years.

__________________

Q:  What kind of people play Ultimate frisbee?

A:  The best kind.  Our current group of regulars consists of
    mathematicians, engineers, teachers, and a physicist.

__________________

Q:  But isn't it kind of hot to be playing?

A:  Well, I won't lie to you.  It usually is pretty warm.  However, we try
    to combat this by taking frequent water breaks.  You can bring your own
    liquids or there's also a water spigot available near the field.

__________________

Q:  Ok, you've convinced me.  Where and when does Ultimate frisbee take
    place?

A:  We play every Friday on the field adjacent to the baseball stadium.
    We currently seem to be playing at 4:38pm.  We usually toss the frisbee
    around for a bit and then start to play.

___________________


Hopefully this has answered all of your questions.  If not, feel free to
send a question and either Shannon or myself will respond.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 08:42:22
From: Alexander Engau 
Subject: Re: Frisbee FAQ

A question for future reference:

Jason's Q&A clearly indicate that the sport he is talking about has
someting to do with frisbee. However, is this frisbee game ultimate (1
occurence) or Ultimate (4 non-first-word occurences)? I am so confused now.

Awaiting clarification.

lsp Alex

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 09:27:13
From: Jason Martin
Subject: Re: Frisbee FAQ

I am truly sorry for the confusion that I have caused.  It was my intent
only to enlighten and not to cause any harm.  I tried to be careful and
always refer to the game as (U)ltimate frisbee.  However, I must admit, as
Alex has pointed out, that I did once use the term (u)ltimate frisbee.
While this was a mistake on my part, and one that I will surely never make
again, I do adhere to the idea that frisbee is indeed ultimate as well as
Ultimate.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 25 Jun 2004 09:03:41
From: Sean Daugherty 
Subject: TAFEL

There is a mandatory meeting today at 4:38 PM on the field by the baseball stadium. 
The annual protest of the lack of Ultimate Frisbee player salary caps will take 
place. Furthermore, the scheduled TAFEL census will be held in order to 
assess the current size of the organization. All those absent will have 
their membership and/or executive titles revoked. I'll see you 
there.

Sean

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 25 Jun 2004 10:31:21
From: Tim Flowers
Subject: Re: TAFEL

A message that says TAFEL has a meeting at the same place and time 
as the FEW usually announce frisbee? Wow, that was very clever. 
You almost fooled me.

Give me a break. I'm laughing as I type. All the TAFEL
members know when and where we have our meetings. And when Sundeep
sends out messages to remind TAFEL about these meetings, he shows the
rest of the department the courtesy of only sending this message to
other TAFEL members. (I will not push this particular thought any further, 
however, since none of us want to get the FED's involved). TAFEL would 
demand a retraction from the FEW for today's message if it was not so 
comically ridiculous.

But, I am upset about something else today. Two weeks ago I pointed
out that my name had been misspelled by the FEW. I received no
apology. Last week, it was pointed out that the FEW had failed to
capitalize the word "ultimate" in one occurrence of the
word. A retraction and apology was sent out in 45 minutes.
This is just another slap in my face. You know, this thing used to
be civilized. Thus, I will assume the lack of an apology was an
oversight and look forward to receiving it next week.

On behalf of TAFEL,

Tim

Acronym Key for the Uninitiated:

TAFEL - The Anti-Frisbee E-Mail League
FEW - Frisbee E-Mail Writers
FED's - Frisbee E-Mail Deleters

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 2 Jul 2004 11:22:58
From: shannon purvis 
Subject: frisbee

As a lot of people are leaving town to go to wedings and the like, the
number of regular frisbee players is quickly decreasing. I've cownted and I
think we will have enouf for a small game today. You may or may not know if
I've counted you, so that probably means you should come out to the field
near the baseball diamond at 4:38 today to be sure you don't dissapoint
anyone. Hopefully there won't be lightning again this week so we'll be able
to play for more than 20 minutes!

On another note, I would like to respond to the TAFEL demand for an
apology. Many of you may have noticed that I haven't written the weekly
frisbee email since my vocabulairy was so slanderously dragged through the
mud. Yes, it is true that by many standards I dont have a particularly
large vocabulary, as I have chosen insted to concentrate on my mathematical
abilities. I will not even pretend that I try to compete with TAFEL's
flowery emails. However, I am an exceptional speller and any mistakes that
I make in that area could obviously only be interpreted as misplaced
keystrkes. I would be more than hapy to issue an apologie to Mr. Tim
Flowers if I was treated with the respect that he claims TAFEL's memebers
are known for. although my vocabularey has ben the subject of one or two
past frisbee emails, and I am able to laph at the jokes, the malicious tone
of The Email left me reeling with shock that my future office mate would
say such a thing about me in such a public setting. Even as I write this
I'm,wondering how my words will be used aginst me. But I am one of the FEW,
and more importantly I am a frisbee player, and we are a friendly groop.
This is why we send out frisbee emails every week and this is why we will
continue to ask Mr. Tim Flowers, Mr. Sundeep Samson, and any one else who
doesn't regularly play frisbee to come out and join us. In light of this, I
apologise, Tem, and in the future will do my best to spell your name correctly.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 9 Jul 2004 10:53:20
From: shannon purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hey all, let's try to play frisbee today. There's even more gone this week,
but maybe some new people will show up (hint hint...). It's so hot though,
we've decided to play even later. So we'll meet at 5:37 on the field near
the baseball diamond. See you all there!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 16 Jul 2004 14:23:46
From: shannon purvis 
Subject: frisbee

I realize this is a late frisbee email, but never fear, we will still be
playing frisbee today. It was decided last night that we would play at 4:30
on the field near the baseball diamond. If you like the odd times we've
been playing at, feel free to interpret 4:30 as 4:34 or even 4:31. If none
of those times works out with your schedule, you can also make up your own
time and come then, we'll probably still be there!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2004 09:52:08
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

It's too bad we don't play frisbee at 9:30 in the morning because there's
great weather out there right now! Well, I guess we'll take our chances and
hope the weather holds up until later today. There will be a game on the
field near the baseball diamond at 4:50 today. You might as well go, what
else do you have to do?

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2004 09:31:55
From: Jonathon Leverenz 
Subject: Ultimate Frisbee Friday

    Hello to all, I hope this finds you well.  Today is Friday which means
that we shall once again be playing Ultimate Frisbee on the intramural field
next to Tiger Field (Kingsmore Stadium) at 4:51 PM.  As always, the
invitation to play is extended to any and all who wish to participate, but
an especial invitation is extended to our newest group of graduate students
in the department.  On behalf of the Frisbee Email Writers, I would like to
extend an official welcome to our new students and, if I may be permitted
the departure, elaborate somewhat on the tradition of Ultimate Frisbee in
our illustrious department.

    The weekly Ultimate Frisbee game has been organized for approximately 6
years now.  We always play on Friday afternoon and, with rare exception, we
always play on the afore mentioned intramural field.  While the majority of
the people who come out to play are from the Mathematical Sciences
department, we also have teachers, engineers, physicists, and others who
join us as well.  Skill levels run the gamut from those of us who can barely
throw a frisbee straight, to those who are quite adept at throwing the
frisbee beyond the reach of anyone who isn't Superman.  We take frequent
water breaks to keep everyone properly hydrated, and water spigots are
available for those who don't bring their own water and/or sports drink.
More recently, we usually go out to eat at a local dining establishment once
the game has concluded.

    I have taken the liberty of attaching to the end of this email Jason
Martin's excellent Frisbee FAQ that will help answer any questions you may
have, but the best way to learn about the game is to come out and play at
4:51.  We hope to see you there!

Jonathon Leverenz
Frisbee Email Writer


       ______________________
       Jason Martin's Frisbee FAQ


        Q:  What is ultimate frisbee?

        A:  Ultimate frisbee combines speed, grace and powerful(sometimes) hurling
            with a grueling(seldom) pace ... Ultimate is an exciting, non-contact team
            sport, played by thousands the world over.

        _________________

        Q:  But I can't throw a frisbee at all, let alone hurl one powerfully.  Is
            Ultimate frisbee for me?

        A:  Absolutely!  We have players of all skill levels.  The only way to
            improve is to try.  Besides, can anyone really throw a frisbee well?  I
            mean it's not even ball shaped in the least.

        __________________

        Q:  I'm still having reservations.  After all, I'm not into sports.  How
            intense is the competition?

        A:  It depends on your definition of intense.  If by intense you mean a
            friendly game where no one keeps score, then it's pretty intense.

        __________________

        Q:  How long have people in the math department been involved with
            Ultimate frisbee?

        A:  While I'm sure there's always been some sort of connection, possibly
            involving Kevin Bacon, we've been playing a regular game for roughly 6
            years.

        __________________

        Q:  What kind of people play Ultimate frisbee?

        A:  The best kind.  Our current group of regulars consists of
            mathematicians, engineers, teachers, and a physicist.

        __________________

        Q:  But isn't it kind of hot to be playing?

        A:  Well, I won't lie to you.  It usually is pretty warm.  However, we try
            to combat this by taking frequent water breaks.  You can bring your own
            liquids or there's also a water spigot available near the field.

        __________________

        Q:  Ok, you've convinced me.  Where and when does Ultimate frisbee take
            place?

        A:  We play every Friday on the field adjacent to the baseball stadium.
            We currently seem to be playing at 4:38pm.  We usually toss the frisbee
            around for a bit and then start to play.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 09:38:12
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hey all,

This is a very special day for frisbee players here as we will start
playing fall semester frisbee today. For those of you who are new to
Clemson or those of you who haven't played frisbee with us before, if you
ask any frisbee player what the difference between regular frisbee and fall
frisbee is, they may say, "I have no idea," or perhaps, "we play it during
the fall semester?" Both responses are equally and wholly correct answers.

There is no difference between fall frisbee and regular frisbee. We still
like to get together on the frisbee field and play a friendly,
non-competitive game of ultimate frisbee and we always welcome new people,
whether you've ever thrown a frisbee in your life or not. If you don't know
how to play the game, or have even never heard of it (gasp!), we'll teach
you what you need to know in about 15 seconds. Maybe 16. 

I've attached a MAP of where the frisbee field is and a few other landmarks 
that you may know around it. Sorry about the bad drawing of a baseball. The 
map isn't really to scale, so although it looks like we play very close to 
Martin, you may not want to walk to the field. I'm also happy to give anyone 
a ride or better directions if you email me or find me. You'll also notice 
on the map that the frisbee field is located near the baseball diamond, thus I
will refer to it as the field near the baseball diamond from now on. It's
still pretty hot, so let's start playing at about 4:50 on the field near
the baseball diamond. There's water out there, so if you forget to bring
some, you'll be fine. See you all there!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 09:47:06
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee addition

I forgot, if you can't get to the frisbee field at 4:50, just come when you
can. So if you're new and want to play but have to go to a 103/104 meeting,
come after the meeting, we'll still be there.

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 10:15:08
From: Timothy B Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

It was one year ago that I was elected to be official spokesman for The
Anti-Frisbee E-mail League.  I am proud to begin the second year of my
first term with this message.

The Anti-Frisbee E-mail League (or, TAFEL) is a group opposed to the weekly
department "frisbee" game no matter when or where it is held.  We are a
group with a long and distinguished tradition in this department and I am
honored to be entrusted with leading TAFEL into this new academic year.

We at TAFEL are busy these days preparing for next month's State Of The
TAFEL Address.  I was not planning to comment today on what will be the
contents of the SOTTA.  However, I've been informed that one of the news
agencies has picked up an "unconfirmed report" about the address which
should hit the wire services later this afternoon.  So, I will make this
brief comment about the report:  Yes, it is true that the SOTTA will
contain an announcement of "a drastic change in TAFEL policy."  However, I
can assure you that TAFEL will remain staunchly anti-frisbee and there will
be no change is that area of our policy.  I can not say any more at this
time, but will be glad to answer any questions after the SOTTA next month.

I would also like to remind everyone that TAFEL is accepting members year
round.  If you are new to the department (or, even if you have been here
many years) and do not play frisbee we would love to talk to you about
joining.  Free feel to inquire about it at any time.

Still a concerned citizen of the department,


Tim Flowers,
Official TAFEL Spokesman

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 27 Aug 2004 12:23:17
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hi all. We're playing frisbee again today at 4:50 on the field near the
baseball diamond. Come out and have some fun! I should also let everyone
know that you will not get a virus if you open up a frisbee email. You will
also not get a virus if you open a TAFEL email. You won't get the flu if
you read them, you won't get a cold if you don't enjoy them, you won't even
get a sniffle if you acually do enjoy reading them. So read with no fear
and since you're feeling so well, come out and play frisbee!!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 3 Sep 2004 09:37:38
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Who wants to go to a tailgate? Well I can get you near one! We'll be
playing frisbee at 4:30 today on the field near the baseball diamond. There
will be plenty of Clemson football fans near the field who have started
their weekend early to come out and wait for the game to start tomorrow and
I'm sure some of them will be tailgating. I can't promise any food, but I'm
pretty sure I can promise the smell of hamburgers and other great grilled
food that we won't get to eat! See you all there,

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 10 Sep 2004 09:10:49
From: Jonathon Leverenz 
Subject: Frisbee at Four

Hey, the weather is nice, let's play some Frisbee at 4:00 today!  We'll
start out on the intramural field as usual, but if the RV/Tailgating crowd
gets too obnoxious we'll move to the soccer field that's south of the
intramural field.

Jonathon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2004 13:53:15
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

After a less-than-helpful meeting with some other regular frisbee
players, I believe it has been decided that we will try to play frisbee
today. Perhaps it will be useful to include the definition of try out of
the frisbee dictionary...

try (v.) to show up at the field near the baseball diamond at 4:30 pm and 
discuss the frisbee possibilities at that time. 

Topics of discussion will include:

	torrential rain

	gusting winds

	sloppy field

	threatening hurricanes and tornadoes

	number of players that have arrived to play

A decision to play or not to play will follow discussion.

NOTE: This definition is subject to change depending on weather
conditions and/or other scheduled events.

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 1 Oct 2004 09:41:49
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hi everyone, well we're back to the usual game during the daylight this
week. We'll be playing on the field near the baseball diamond at 5. It's
getting dark a lot earlier, so we'll do our best to start AT 5! See you all
there.

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 1 Oct 2004 12:27:19
From: Timothy B Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Greetings citizens of the department (and anyone else, really),

I'm sure you have noticed there have not been many TAFEL e-mails this
semester.  Unlike my esteemed colleagues, the FEW, I do not feel the need
to remind you of our position every week, but only on those occasions when
I feel it is necessary.  With that said, I do regret not having been
somewhat more active in this arena.  In my own defense, however, I have
been abnormally busy with all things TAFEL and I'm very well acquainted,
too, with matters mathematical.  I guess you could say I am the very model
of a modern Major-General.

In light of this I, on behalf of TAFEL, have the following important
announcement to make:  TAFEL is hiring an intern!

More specifically, TAFEL is planning to hire someone to be my intern.  We
anticipate many applications from across the country so I would encourage
any in the department who are interested to contact TAFEL at your earliest
convenience for application information.

I also want to include a KWMROTOAWAFNRMM (which, ironically, is itself a
KWMROTOAWAFNRMM . . . or is it?  If you can answer this question, you may
be intern material).

Information about how The Intern will be chosen is forthcoming.  However,
here's a hint - think "The Apprentice" (I may not have the money, fame, or
real estate empire to compete with "The Donald" but I'm pretty sure I have
the hair to pull this off).


Tim Flowers
Official TAFEL Spokesman


Acronym Key for the Uninitiated:

TAFEL - The Anti-Frisbee E-Mail League
FEW - Frisbee E-Mail Writers
FED's - Frisbee E-Mail Deleters
KWMROTOAWAFNRMM - Kelly Waters Memorial Random One-Time-Only Acronym Which
Appears For No Reason in the Middle of a Message.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 8 Oct 2004 10:02:26
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hey all, since there are quite a few of us going to the Mini-conference
today, we'll be starting frisbee today at 5 on the field near the baseball
diamond. See you all there!!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 08:50:35
From: Robert Beeler 
Subject: Warning:  Dangerous PHRYS-B Virus

This is a public service announcement by the FED.

Recently, my sources * have become aware of a dangerous virus being spread
via email.  The courier email for the virus will have "frisbee" in the
subject line , sent by one "Shannon Purvis" (which may be an alias).  
Almost immediately, the virus will spawn a second email, with the
subject line "Re: frisbee", sent by one "Tim Flowers" (almost certainly an
alias).  Most disturbing of all, my sources ** have led me to believe that
"Shannon Purvis" and "Tim Flowers" are actually working together as part of
a nefarious scheme to overflow the in-boxes of everyone in the department.
As of right now, it is unknown whether this deluge of email is part of a
larger, more sinister plan.  Until the motivations of this duo are known,
it is highly recommended that you delete all email with "frisbee" or "Re:
frisbee" in the subject line.

This has been a public service announcement by the FED

* By "my sources", I mean that I made it up
**  Seriously, they do share an office.  Whether they scheme or not is open to debate

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2004 09:26:18
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

The regular Friday frisbee game has been postponed today due to the SIAM
picnic. We'll meet close to 7:30 on the intramural field by the football
stadium. (It's also across from Fike, but not the lower intramural field,
the higher one....just make sure you're right next to the stadium.)
So...different time, different place, same frisbee fun! Go eat a lot of
good food at the picnic and then make up for it by playing some frisbee!!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 10:57:27
From: Timothy B Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

For those who are interested, TAFEL brings you the following update on "The
Intern" contest.  Before that, however, let me just publicly say that I
resent the FEW who have (behind closed doors) said I remind them more of
"My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss" than the main character on "The Apprentice."   
I will be expecting an apology.


Tim Flowers
Official TAFEL Spokesman

      ____________________________________________________________________________

      Coming up this week on "The Intern."  The eager candidates are split into
      two teams and given their first task - find out why the computer named
      "tafel" in E-7 never works.  Team ARF is especially shocked by the
      disturbing image permanently displayed on the monitor.  Meanwhile, Team
      SAFE is in early trouble when they get on the bad side of the man sent to
      observe their tasks - Sundeep.  It all ends when one team discovers that
      the FEW are actually responsible for the malfunctioning computer leading to
      the most shocking O-10 meeting yet when one candidate hears the words,
      "Your chances of getting this job are within epsilon of 0.  You're converged."
      ____________________________________________________________________________


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 09:13:09
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Today we will play our annual homecoming frisbee game. We want to invite
all frisbee alumni to join us today in celebrating our rich frisbee
history. Although I don't know of any past players that are close enough to
come for a game, we will still be playing on the same field near the
baseball diamond at 4:30 today. If you've never played with us before, this
would be a great day to come out and see what this game is all about!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 16 Oct 2004 09:41:07
From: Robert Alden Beeler 
Subject: Alien sightings plague Clemson

This is public service announcement brought to you by the FED.

It appears that Clemson University is a regular haunt of UFOs and other
extraterrestrials. Sightings from multiple independent witnesses confirm
that what can only be described as "brightly colored saucers" which seemed
to "glide on air" have been seen in the skies of Clemson on a regular
basis.  Fortunately, these sightings seemed to be very localized, in fact
most of the sightings seem to happen a round a cetral location, at about
the same time: 4:30 on Friday afternoon.  Having spoke to several of the
witnesses, they confirm that sightings occur close to what can only be
described as "a large white diamond on the ground."  Now, I've seen the
movie "Signs" (which seemed pretty accurate*) and it suggests that aliens
use such shapes as navigational tools to plan their attacks.

Should we be fearful of these strange visitors? Absolutely, yes!
I have watched and read enough science fiction to know that the cute
cuddly aliens like ET are by far out numbered by the aliens that want to
kill us, eat us, or enslave us.  Don't be like those pansies in
"Independence Day" that just stood by and let the aliens blow up the White
House, all the time saying how pretty the death ray was.  Protect yourself
now! At least one of my witnesses (who chose to remain nameless) have
confirmed that the aliens are hostile.  In fact, according to the witness,
"It came right at me.  It was almost like I could catch it in my hands. I
was so scared..."

Until an effective way to fight off the aliens is discovered, it is
recommended that you be very careful near places that UFOs have been
sighted.

This has been a public service announcement from the FED

* Maybe not accurate, but it sure was creepy**
** Not 'Silence of the Lambs' creepy, but you know what I mean.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2004 12:09:52
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Once again, Friday has rolled around, and talk of frisbee fills the rooms
of Martin Hall. The offices and classrooms are buzzing with excitement as
everyone waits with bated breath (bated or baited? I believe bated) in
anticipation of the weekly frisbee announcement of time and location. Wait
no longer....

We'll be playing frisbee at 4:30 on the field near the baseball diamond.
See you there,

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 09:35:40
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

It's time for the second annual Halloween frisbee game. Of course, we've
always played on Halloween weekend, but last year was the first year that I
suggested the players wear costumes while playing. No one wore a costume,
so I feel safe in suggesting it again. No one wore a costume, that is,
except JP, who dressed up as an orange cone and sat at one of the corners
of our field. His costume was so lifelike that we didn't even know that he
was there in place of one of our normal cones. This year, I have seen some
orange around the office and I'm sure this means that Tim has been
preparing his cone costume and will reveal it at the frisbee game today.
Come see Tim's costume today on the field near the baseball diamond at 4:30.

Looking forward to throwing a frisbee at Tim,

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 10:45:08
From: Timothy B Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

I would just like to briefly respond to today's frisbee e-mail by making
the following points:

1.  Miss Purvis claims she has "seen some orange around the office" - but
    she has misled you as to the reason.  All of the candidates for "The
    Intern" are going to the football game this weekend and are wearing
    orange.  You see, we at TAFEL support the university's fine athletic
    teams.  Unfortunately, our FEW distinguished colleagues always seem to have
    excuses for not attending and supporting our teams.

2.  I was raised to believe you should never ignore the wise words of your
    elders.  So, allow me to quote the renowned Mr. Kelly Waters' reaction to
    last year's Halloween frisbee e-mail:  "As always, I am pleased to have
    heard from Shannon; but I am especially pleased that she has finally
    admitted that Frisbee players are scary characters.

    I am sure that this admission from the FEW will be remembered fondly in
    the next editions of the FEW/TAFEL history -- just think of it, Shannon's
    remarks and the demise of the FEW, might one day be compared to George
    Washington cutting down the cherry tree.  A moment to remember for sure..."

3.  I am deeply saddened that once again the FEW have resorted to threats
    of physical violence.  However, for the record, I have not and will not
    attend a frisbee event - in costume or otherwise.

4.  Lack of flu shots.  Lost weapons in Iraq.  Halliburton contracts.  
    Michael Moore's mouth.  23% sales tax.  Joe Sam Queen ads.  
    Should we blame Republicans?  Democrats?  No.  The FEW are to blame
    for all of them.


Tim Flowers
Official TAFEL Spokesman


P.S.  Sorry for #4.  Whenever elections get near I feel to need to make
      wild, outrageous accusations.  But, with that said, we here at TAFEL
      officially encourage all citizens of the department to exercise your right
      to vote on Tuesday.  (Assuming, of course, that you are actually registered
      to vote in the U.S.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2004 11:10:37
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

It's too late in the semester to come up with anything witty, not that I
can even do it early in the semester. Frisbee at 4 today on the field near
the baseball diamond. Go play.

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 12 Nov 2004 11:19:13
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

It looks like we'll be playing frisbee in the cold and rain today! We'll be
out there at 4 on the field near the baseball diamond.

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 11:22:25
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Yesterday you all received an Inside Clemson email with a list of
Clemson-USC Rivalry activities. In this email, the Clemson University
Department of News Services failed to recognize the annual Clemson-USC
frisbee game on the field near the baseball diamond at 4 today. Perhaps it
was not mentioned because the only team that ever shows up to this game is
the Clemson team as USC students don't know how to enjoy their Friday
afternoons with a friendly Friday frisbee game. I do, however, believe that
there is a USC frisbee haters club which is closely affiliated with the
group here known as TAFEL. This can only lead to one question...Tim Flowers
will be attending the Clemson-USC football game tomorrow, who will he be
cheering for?

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 13:23:15
From: Timothy B Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Greetings.  I had hoped to give everyone an update on "The Intern" today,
but, once again, I need to respond to the FEW's message instead.  
(Although, for those keeping track, I will say that the most
recently "converged" intern candidate was let go for telling Sundeep to
"back off" . . . appalling, right?  I can assure you that no friend of my
family would ever be caught on camera doing that.  But, I digress).

Three things about today's frisbee message.  First, we all know that having
something in common with someone at University of South Carolina does not
mean you have to cheer for their football team.  For example, we have had
professors from University of South Carolina come to campus to give talks
about math.  I think most of us (were there FEW exceptions?) agreed with
what they said.  That does not make us Gamecock fans.  Yes, there are
people who are anti-frisbee at University of South Carolina.  But I will be
in Death Valley tomorrow cheering for a repeat of 63-17.

However, I do not believe this was actually the point Miss Purvis was
trying to make.  By overtly slamming the University of South Carolina, the
FEW were indirectly slighting one of TAFEL's own - our fine citizen, former
spokesman, MEDS recipient and man of many acronyms (and nicknames), Mr.
Kelly Waters (currently employed by the University of South Carolina -
Upstate).  We here at TAFEL will continue to stand beside our friend no
matter how many times the FEW renew their attacks.

Finally, I am proud to announce that TAFEL will continue to insist, as we
have for many years, that USC is the University of Southern California.  We
encourage our FEW distinguished colleagues to begin to do the same.


Tim Flowers
Official TAFEL Spokesman

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 12:31:01
From: Jonathon Leverenz 
Subject: Frisbee!

We're playing frisbee today at 3:30.  Yes, I said 3:30!  Hopefully we can
get in an additional half hour of playing than usual since it gets dark so
early (as it tends to do this time of year).  This will likely be the last
frisbee game of the year, so come out and play!

Jonathon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 3 Dec 2004 11:26:21
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

There will be a game of frisbee on the field near the baseball diamond at 4
today. You better show up for this because you're running out of chances in
this semester!!!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
top
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 11:24:28
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

For the full effect of today's frisbee email, play the following attachment
and repeat the following announcement dramatically, in a deep voice. (If
you're new and want to know what the frisbee game is about and how to get
there, send me an email.)

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 21 Jan 2005 11:31:08
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Things you can't do in the cold:

	go on a picnic
	go swimming
	eat ice cream outside
	go camping
	garden
	cook an egg on the sidewalk

Things you CAN do in the cold:

	play frisbee at 4:30 today on the field near the baseball diamond
	what else do you need?

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 12:11:31
From: Robert Alden Beeler 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Actually, this email was a misleading in the terms of what you can and
cannot do in the cold, so I felt the need to help out.

> Things you can't do in the cold:
>     * go on a picnic

Reality: Nothing is stopping you. In fact, this can be advantageous as you
don't need a cooler for drinks and cold sandwiches.  I do however
recommend thermal underwear and an extra thick blanket to sit on.

>     * go swimming

Reality: There is something called the polar bear club where people jump
into freezing cold water and swim around in it. I don't honestly know what
possesses people to do this but it can be done. If you choose to get
involved in this activity, I recommend having your affairs in order, in
case no one knows how to treat hypothermia.

>     * eat ice cream outside

Reality: On cold days, ice cream melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Thus this is a great way to enjoy a frozen treat and avoid the social
embarrassment of not be able to shake hands.

>     * go camping

Reality:  They have thermal sleeping bags that make you look a bit like a
mummy. Also, they have this new-fangled thing called "fire". Turns out
that if you can make "fire," it will keep you warm.

>     * garden

Reality: Frozen ground is a bit hard to dig in, but with an extension cord
and a hair dryer, the ground quickly becomes summer warm.  Also, there are
heat lamps and such that allows you to grow plants indoors.  This also
allows you to grow plants that are of a legally ambiguous nature.  For
more information on the growing and tending of indoor plants, please
contact the good people at NORML.

>     * cook an egg on the sidewalk

Reality:  Why would you want to do this in the heat of summer? You know,
people walk on the sidewalk, they curb there dogs by the sidewalk, and
they throw trash on the sidewalk. I don't think anyone is missing much
here.  But, if you do want to cook an egg on the sidewalk, I recommend a
portable propane stove and skillet.

-rb

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2005 13:21:58
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee correction

For those of you that do read the frisbee email, and do look at what time
we meet, we'll be playing at 4:30 today, not 4. Sorry!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2005 10:55:18
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Since I learned last night that there were 12 letters in the Hawaiian
alphabet, I thought I would try to write today's frisbee email using only
the Hawaiian alphabet. Unfortunately, none of the consonants in frisbee are
in their alphabet, none of the consonants in Friday are in their alphabet,
and only the 'l' in baseball and field are in this alphabet. I have,
however, attempted to translate today's announcement into Hawaiian, making
substitutions where needed, you can probably tell where they are. (There
are quite a few accents and other marks missing.)

Hawaiian: Frisbee keiala ma kahua pa'ani kokoke kahua pohili, eha pimu

English: Frisbee today on field near baseball diamond, 4 pm

I'm sorry that I have butchered the Hawaiian language so horribly,

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 4 Feb 2005 10:26:58
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hey everyone, I have no "good" ideas today for a frisbee email, so we'll
just play on the field near the baseball diamond at 4:30 pm today. See you
all later.

Shannon

PS. Need grout? I've got it! Just ask me!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2005 11:23:56
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Well, it looks like we will have frisbee today. Come out to the field near
the baseball diamond today at 4:30. See you all there.

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2005 13:38:33
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Greetings from The Anti-Frisbee E-mail League (TAFEL). We hope
everyone is having a wonderful semester and encourage you to not
go play frisbee this afternoon.

Many have been asking what we at TAFEL have been up to these last few
weeks. Before I answer that question specifically let me remind you
that if you join TAFEL, you will always be up to date on all TAFEL
happenings. You see, here at TAFEL we do not send an e-mail every
single week to non-members repeating the same thing over and over and
over, week after week.

With that said, I will give a brief description of what we at TAFEL have
been busy with lately. Recently, Fox Television and TV Guide
cosponsored a contest in connection with the TV show "24"
(which airs Mondays at 9 PM on Fox and which also happens to be the best
show on television). The contest invited people to write a "24
word essay explaining why the 24 producers should name a character after
you." We at TAFEL decided to devote several weeks to constructing our essays 
with the goal of having a character named "Tim Flowers" or "Sundeep Samson" 
on 24 later this season. Here are some examples of ideas we have had for my
name. 

First, for a "bad guy" character:

There is a name which implies a tough and cunning individual and could
only belong to a violent criminal mastermind. That name is Flowers.

And, for a "good guy" character:

You should have a character named Tim Flowers, an analyst for the Counter
Terrorist Unit because the real Tim is good with numbers.

I would give you more, but I thought I might open it up and see who else
wanted to participate. Send along your "24 word essays"
using either my name or Sundeep's name. I'll make sure the person
who sends me the best essay gets a free entry in the department NCAA
basketball tournament pool I run every March.

Have a great weekend and remember - don't play frisbee.

Tim Flowers
Official TAFEL Spokesman

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "John Chrispell" 
Subject: RE: frisbee
Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2005 14:42:39

The TV show 24 needs a character named Shannon that plays Frisbee every Friday 
at 4:00 on the field near the Clemson baseball diamond.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 10:51:07
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Last week, Tim Flowers sent out an email about a contest for naming a
character on the show 24. I myself have never watched 24, but have heard
great things about it and look forward to watching the first 3 season on
DVD in my "free" time. 

For those of you who don't remember, the contest participants would submit 
a 24 word essay on why the producers of the show should name a character 
after them. Let's look at the following essay given by Tim Flowers in 
his email...

(1)You (2)should (3)have (4)a (5)character (6)named (7)Tim (8)Flowers,
(9)an (10)analyst (11)for (12)the (13)Counter (14)Terrorist (15)Unit
(16)because (17)the (18)real (19)Tim (20)is (21)good (22)with
(23)numbers.

Hmmm. 23 words. Good with numbers. Does anyone else see a problem?
Perhaps a better 24 word essay would be the following, written by John
Chrispell...

	The TV show 24 needs a character named Tim that plays Frisbee 
	every Friday at 4:30 on the field near the Clemson baseball
	diamond.

Treating numbers (24) and times (4:30) as words, this seems like a much
more appropriate essay for Tim to send in to the 24 producers. And since
Tim is already playing frisbee at 4:30 on the field near the baseball
diamond, why don't the rest of us join him. 

See you all there.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 10:47:51
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hey everyone. Apparently through some glitch in the Clemson email system,
when I type my email and say that we will be meeting at 4:30 on Friday near
the baseball diamond, Eudora randomly changes that time to 4:45 or 5, or
even lately, 5:15. I have figured out how to fix that problem, so that
times given from now on will be our actual starting times! Today we will be
playing frisbee on the field near the baseball diamond at 5:00. If you
haven't played with us before and can't get there at 5, it's ok, you should
come anyway. However, if you are a regular, it seems that the agreed upon
punishment for arriving after 5 pm today on the field near the baseball
diamond is that you will have to stand with your hands in the air and wave
them like you just don't care. And maybe have frisbees thrown at you. Don't
come late just because that sounds like so much fun. Remember, you could be
the one watching someone with their hands in the air and waving them like
they just don't care. And throwing frisbees at them. See you all there.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 11:36:44
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Sorry about the double email, but I haven't gotten the email that I sent
before so I'll try it again just in case something went wrong that time.

Hey everyone. Apparently through some glitch in the Clemson email system,
when I type my email and say that we will be meeting at 4:30 on Friday near
the baseball diamond, Eudora randomly changes that time to 4:45 or 5, or
even lately, 5:15. I have figured out how to fix that problem, so that
times given from now on will be our actual starting times! Today we will be
playing frisbee on the field near the baseball diamond at 5:00. If you
haven't played with us before and can't get there at 5, it's ok, you should
come anyway. However, if you are a regular, it seems that the agreed upon
punishment for arriving after 5 pm today on the field near the baseball
diamond is that you will have to stand with your hands in the air and wave
them like you just don't care. And maybe have frisbees thrown at you. Don't
come late just because that sounds like so much fun. Remember, you could be
the one watching someone with their hands in the air and waving them like
they just don't care. And throwing frisbees at them. See you all there.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 11:30:53
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Frisbee will be AT 5 today on the field near the baseball diamond. We had
to enforce the punishment twice last week. Let's not do it again.

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 12:18:19
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Can someone really "enforce the punishment" (as the FEW claim)?  How is
that done, exactly?  I can see how one might enforce a rule by
administering a punishment.  However, I remain unclear as to how a
punishment is enforced.

Either way, don't play frisbee today.

Tim (on behalf of TAFEL)

NOTE:  The above grammatical critique was unnecessary and capricious.
This is in honor of TAFEL history month, as we recall the days before my
tenure as official TAFEL spokesman when many TAFEL e-mails were
constructed as the above.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 15:00:41
From: "John Chrispell" 
Subject: RE: frisbee

I thought that TAFEL stood for The Anti Frisbee Email League...Standing
against the FEW by sending more email to read on a Friday. 

"Don't play Frisbee Today" sends the wrong message. In appreciation of
TAFEL history month shouldn't you be just disgusted by receiving Frisbee
email, and so much so that you feel the need to send us all an email to
tell us about your disgust. That should be the point of your email.
Otherwise you are changing your organizations premise, and becoming TAFL
(Tim Against Frisbee League). 

Just a thought,

John

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 11:15:58
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Hey everyone, frisbee will be today at 5 pm on the field near the baseball
diamond. I believe I was going to respond to something that Tim Flowers
wrote in his Re: frisbee email last week, but as with everything that Tim
sends out, I didn't think the email was important enough to keep, and I
deleted it. I think we'll all be better off not remembering Tim's emails
anyway. See you later.

Shannon

PS. Tim - Thank you so much for teaching my class while I was gone. You're
    the best!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 12:46:04
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Isn't it ironic that the same FEW who send the exact same e-mail every
week to tell people something they already know should be the ones to
stoop to insulting the value of the TAFEL messages?  At least we strive
for variety and take time to celebrate things like TAFEL history month.

Now, since Shannon followed her insult of me by saying something nice to
me, I will now say something nice to her:

Shannon - Thank you so much for going out of town for 5 days and not being
in the office.  You're the best!!!

Tim

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 11:35:15
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Today's jumble:

srefieb
4m54p
ldfei
aren
sabbllea
dmnoiad
ees
oyu
hreet
onhsann


Answer to today's jumble:

frisbee
4:45 pm
field
near
baseball
diamond
see
you
there
Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 11:51:49
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Jeremy has informed me that I need to be sure that everyone reads the
answer at the bottom of the frisbee jumble. He is worried that people will
have trouble with the second line. So be sure to scroll down to check your
answer!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 1 Apr 2005 10:28:41
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

We couldn't decide yesterday whether we should play frisbee today or not.
Last I saw it had started to rain a little bit outside and it's supposed to
get worse as the day goes on. Now, we do play in the rain, at least until
the lightning sirens start going off, but sometimes the rain is too hard
for us to play. What to do? Play or not play? So in a classic
procrastinator's move, we'll be meeting on the field near the baseball
diamond at 5 today and will decide then if we will play or not. It could be
fun!!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 8 Apr 2005 12:07:38
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Well, it's one of those two times in the year that we have an excuse to
play frisbee at night, because we couldn't ever use the reason that we just
want to. To add to the excitement of the bi-annual night game, Sean will be
bringing out his glow-in-the-dark frisbee. We'll be meeting at 8:30 on the
intramural fields next to both Fike and the stadium (the softball field if
you're a softball player). The frisbee may not glow for too long, so show
up at 8:30. We'll come up with a back-up plan if it's raining hard or there
are no lights. See you all there!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 15 Apr 2005 11:13:52
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

Frisbee will happen today at 5 pm on the field near the baseball diamond.
That's all you get for the email this week.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 22 Apr 2005 11:57:21
From: Sean Daugherty 
Subject: Your weekly Friday email!

See the attached crossword puzzle (solution) to learn about this week's 
exciting event!

You may also be interested to know all about the following ultimate 
frisbee players of Peruvian descent! http://delphi.meetup.com/139/members/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 29 Apr 2005 13:36:30
From: Shannon Purvis 
Subject: frisbee

It seems that my earlier email about frisbee didn't get to anyone today.
The only reason I can come up with for this is that I may have forgotten to
write it earlier this morning. If that's the case, here's another email
telling everyone that we will be playing frisbee today on the field near
the baseball diamond at 5 pm. Come out and take a little break if you've
got the time!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 6 May 2005 21:49:00
From: Sean Daugherty
Subject: frisbee

Need a break from the Spring 05 Grading Extravaganza?!  Come on down to 
frisbee at 5:00 by the baseball diamond!  This is your last chance of 
the semester!
 
Sean

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 6 May 2005 14:54:00
From: Timothy Flowers 
Subject: Re: frisbee

Greetings.

On behalf of TAFEL I would like to extend an early congratulations to all those 
who will be graduating next week.  I'm sure you will be honored, as I was, to 
receive a degree from the Mathematical Sciences Department of Clemson University.

As past, current, or future graduates of this department, all of us should make 
sure we know something about the history of the department.  There is a wonderful 
link from the department homepage to read about the history and meaning behind 
this place that will one day (we hope) confer degrees upon all of us.

In light of this, since frisbee and TAFEL have been a part of the history of this 
department in this millennium, I'm proud to announce the most recent update to 
the "Frisbee & TAFEL E-mail Archives."  Kelly Waters (my predecessor as TAFEL 
spokesman who, as you may recall, has his MEDS) with contributions from the 
current TAFEL administrative team, a current frisbee player, and a former FEW 
is making this archive available.  

Here is a link: Frisbee E-mail Archive

This page (which is still undergoing some updates) is one of the greatest reads 
on the internet.  For those who have never seen the archive or if it has just 
been a while, let me point out some of the highlights:

-- Kelly Waters and many other authors (October 1999):  The original "outburst" of 
   October 99 that started it all.  There were messages from the FEW before this, 
   but we have no record of them from before that fateful October afternoon.

-- John Villalpando (8/21/01):  This message is significant to me, because it was 
   the first I ever read, a few days after I arrived in Clemson. 
   Perhaps you can find your first as well.

-- JP Roop (9/12/02):  The first use of the name "Man Kelly" in an e-mail.

-- John Villalpando (9/19/02):  John's song.  I understand this is a favorite 
   among the Frisbee players.

-- Shannon Purvis (2/7/03):  For the first time, one FEW insults another 
   when Shannon calls Jason Martin "moody."

-- Kelly Waters (4/18/03):  The announcement that Kelly would be stepping down as
   TAFEL spokesman and the start of the campaign for a new spokesman.
   This was also the first time the name "TAFEL" was used in an e-mail to the 
   department.

-- Charles Allen (5/5/03):  The e-mail that opened the door and eventually helped 
   change the TAFEL spokesperson campaign (and an e-mail that I've always found 
   quite funny).

-- Kelly Waters (5/29/03):  The coining of the term "FEW" and the original posting 
   of The Archive.  This message also helped change the TAFEL spokesperson campaign.

-- Tim Flowers (6/21/03):  "A Frisbee Essay."  This was the first use of the term 
   "FEDs" as it pointed out the department's trichotomy.  This is also my first 
   entry in the Archive.  I'm humbled to say that I was later told that this was 
   the day I swayed enough voters to ensure I would win the election.

-- Kelly Waters (8/27/03):  Kelly announces my victory in the TAFEL spokesman 
   election.

-- Tim Flowers (10/1/04):  Announcement of "The Intern" contest.

-- Sundeep (too many dates to list):  Sundeep's e-mails are always the best.


There are, of course, many (many, many) more wonderful and funny e-mails in this 
archive by the authors listed above and several others.  Look for things like 
poetry, photographs, acronyms (like ALGAE, FLOP, KWMROTOAWAFNRMM, etc.) and much more.

No matter which group you align yourself with, I hope you enjoy reading these messages
which span nearly 6 years.  If you happen to have copies of any messages missing from 
The Archive, please let me know.  And, if you'd like to talk, laugh, or reminisce 
about any of the message, feel free to stop by the office.  E-mails in The Archive is 
one of my favorite topics.

Have a wonderful weekend and congratulations again to all the graduates.

On behalf of TAFEL,


Tim

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 13 May 2005 11:35 AM
From: Shannon Purvis
Subject: frisbee

We're still playing frisbee and today's the day! So for those of you who want 
something else to do, we're playing frisbee today on the field near the baseball 
diamond at 5 pm. See you there!

Shannon


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, May 20, 2005 11:55 AM
Subject: frisbee

It's supposed to rain all day today, but let's meet on the field near the 
baseball diamond today at 5 to see what we think about playing frisbee in 
the rain or on a wet field. See you all there,

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, May 27, 2005 10:15 AM
Subject: Frisbee

Frisbee at 5 today on the field near the baseball diamond. It looks like
we'll have a few REU and SURE students, so everyone better get a lot of
rest today to keep up with the undergrads!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, June 03, 2005 8:46 AM
Subject: frisbee

Since Clemson will be playing baseball today, we're expecting a lot of cars 
to be parked in our normal playing field. So rather than playing around 
them (moving cars in our field usually present enough of a problem), we're 
going to move the game today. So we'll be playing frisbee at 5:00 today on 
the intramural field that's next to both Fike and the football stadium (the 
softball fields). If you want to come and you're not sure where that is, 
email me back. See you all there!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, June 10, 2005 2:07 PM
Subject: frisbee

Frisbee at 5
Field near baseball diamond

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, June 17, 2005 4:26 PM
Subject: frisbee

Oops. I forgot the frisbee email today. We will be playing today at 5 on 
the field near the baseball diamond. See you all there!

Shannon

PS. The members of TAFEL (Tim) should know that last week I was not trying 
    to write a haiku poem. The FEW do, in fact, know the appropriate number of 
    syllables that belong in each line of a haiku. If the members of TAFEL 
    (Tim) had bothered to look in the Frisbee/Tafel email archive kept by Kelly, 
    they would have seen that haiku has come up in the frisbee emails before and the 
    correct form was settled on by all and will be used from that time on. But 
    thank you to Tim for confirming my suspicion that TAFEL writers (Tim) have 
    nothing left to write about and will grasp at any minute detail that can be 
    criticized in the FEWs writing. Yes, Tim (members/writers of TAFEL), last 
    week's email was a plant, and you fell into the trap quite nicely.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Friday, June 24, 2005 11:05 AM
Subject: frisbee

Hello all,

   I'm filling in for Shannon this week.  We will be playing frisbee at
the current regular time (5:00) at the regular place (the field near
the baseball diamond).  If we need to move like last week we will, but
let's start off at the regular place so there's no confusion.

Jason


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, July 01, 2005 11:28 AM
Subject: frisbee

Frisbee at 5 today on the field near the baseball diamond. A lot of 
regulars are out of town this week so we'd love to see some new faces (as 
we would every week)!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, July 08, 2005 11:16 AM
Subject: frisbee

Frisbee on the field near the baseball diamond at 5 today. It'll be 
fun...you know you want to come...

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2005 11:04 PM
Subject: frisbee Friday

We'll be playing frisbee on the field near the baseball diamond at 5pm. 
Hope to see everyone there.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, July 29, 2005 1:44 PM
Subject: frisbee

Well, let's show up at the field near the baseball diamond at 5 and see 
what we think about playing today.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, August 05, 2005 12:20 PM
Subject: frisbee

We'll be playing frisbee at 5 on the field near the baseball diamond. Maybe 
once school starts these emails will get a little more interesting.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, August 12, 2005 12:12 PM
Subject: 

Don't forget there's frisbee on the field near the baseball diamond today at 5!

Shannon


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Friday, August 12, 2005 12:49 PM
Subject: Re:

Interesting ploy in failing to give a subject header.  Hopefully you
succeeded in getting some people who would generally and foolishly discard
the Frisbee email on principle along.

Good Job!!
Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, August 19, 2005 12:10 PM
Subject: frisbee

As many of you may have expected, with today comes the last summer frisbee 
game. What many of you may not know, is that today will also be the last 
day that we will have the pleasure of playing frisbee with Sean in our 
midst. Sean will soon be moving to Canada. We've certainly made quite an 
impression here for him to feel that he needs to move to a different 
county, eh? It seems appropriate to help Sean learn a little more about 
Canada in today's frisbee email. Since he will undoubtedly be hearing the 
Canadian national anthem, I am including the newest, updated version of "Oh 
Canada" below. Thanks to Mike for making me aware of these appropriate changes.

Shannon

O Field By the Baseball Diamond! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see the frisbee rise,
The True West of Campus strong and free!
From far and wide, O Frisbee Field,
We stand on guard for thee. (at 5pm)
God keep our field glorious and free!
O Frisbee Field, we stand on guard for thee. (at 5pm)
O Frisbee Field, we stand on guard for thee. (at 5pm)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2005 11:57 AM
Subject: frisbee

Hey everyone. I thought I'd send this email out today so that people can 
prepare appropriately for tomorrow, since I know we're going to see some 
new people on the frisbee field (map)! These emails won't typically be this long, 
but bear with me this week.

First, a little history for the new students and other people who have 
previously ignored my weekly emails for the past couple years...

The Friday Ultimate Frisbee game has been a rich tradition in the math 
department for about 6 or 7 years. The frisbee email has been a well-loved, 
but often debated, tradition for almost as long. A long time ago, a group 
of math grad students got together on a Friday afternoon to play a game of 
ultimate frisbee. (6-7 years pass) Today, a group of math, engineering, and 
physics grad students, as well as some friends and family outside the 
school and sometimes some undergrads get together on Friday afternoons to 
play a game of ultimate frisbee.

Second, an invitation to all those that would like to see what this frisbee 
game is all about...

Tomorrow (Friday) we'll be playing a game of frisbee at 5 on the field near 
the baseball diamond. A map to the field is attached. Everyone is welcome 
to come and feel free to ask friends if you'd like. You don't need to know 
how to play ultimate frisbee, you don't need to be good at sports, and you 
don't need to know how to throw a frisbee or even know what one is. The 
game is pretty relaxed and we can teach you anything you need to know in 
about 2 minutes if you haven't played before. We take plenty of breaks when 
it's hot and even when it's not, so bring something to drink if you want 
and there's a water spigot close by if you forget. If you can't get there 
right at 5, that's fine, we'll probably still be playing when you get 
there! We play almost every Friday afternoon, so if you can't make it this 
week, we'll see you next week. I'll be sending out reminders to you every 
Friday!

Third, a warning to all potential frisbee players...

There is a group that lurks around this department who speaks against 
frisbee, frisbee emails, and the FEW. They are called TAFEL. Do not be 
scared away from playing frisbee by their emails. We play frisbee. We just 
want to have fun and relax a little bit on a Friday afternoon. And we want 
everyone to feel welcome to do the same. Come join us.

If you have any questions, just email me!

Shannon (proud FEW)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, September 02, 2005 12:14 PM
Subject: frisbee

There may be many questions today about how people are going to spend their 
Friday night. Should you play frisbee, go to the First Friday parade, or go 
to the Fall Fiesta? I'm going to use today's email to try to convince 
everyone that you can do all three!

First, we'll be playing frisbee at 4:30 on the field near the baseball 
diamond. We're starting a little early to avoid any problems with traffic 
or blocked streets from the parade. However, we may move to another field 
because of the parade and/or tailgaters, so try to show up pretty close to 
4:30. If you'd like to know our usual backup field, email me back.

Second, the First Friday parade starts at 6 pm. When I started at Clemson, 
I was told that I should attend the parade "at least once" while I was at 
Clemson. So I went. Once. Now, I'm not saying that the parade wasn't fun or 
didn't raise Clemson spirit. In fact, it was at this parade that I felt my 
first twinge of tiger pride. I will tell you that I thought the best part 
of the parade was the kudzu guys, a few fraternity guys who drape 
themselves in kudzu and run around wildly. Very exciting. I've included in 
this email a picture of the kudzudites. Once you look at this picture, you 
have seen the best part of the parade and will no longer feel that you need 
to actually be there. Enjoy! I'll also mention that we may be able to see 
the very end of the parade from our field if you feel you must see it in 
person.

Finally, the Fall Fiesta starts tonight at 5 pm. I would like to assure 
everyone that is planning on going to this that there is a clear path from 
the frisbee field to the fiesta location that avoids the parade path 
entirely. So traffic should not be a problem when driving between as far as 
I can tell. Of course, going to the party right after frisbee would mean 
that you might be a little sweaty, but once the keg is tapped, people may 
not notice.

So here are my thoughts on Friday's events. Take them or leave them, the 
decision is now up to you...

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, September 09, 2005 12:22 PM
Subject: frisbee

BREAKING NEWS:
In a shocking turn of events, it has been discovered that frisbee will be 
played on Saturday this week. When asked about the date change, frisbee 
player Jonathon said, "If we play at night [after the picnic], we'll 
probably end up playing [at our usual night game field] in a tiny square of 
light." Apparently playing frisbee at night, although lots of fun, makes it 
very hard to see the frisbee. With only the light from 2 lamp posts 
available, frisbee players have decided to move the bi-yearly night after 
the picnic game to Saturday instead. To ensure that they and any 
non-regular frisbee players  will be able to watch the football game 
against Maryland, frisbee will start at 5:30 pm on Saturday. The frisbee 
game will be played on the regular frisbee field, the field near the 
baseball diamond.


Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, September 16, 2005 12:08 PM
Subject: frisbee

A couple weeks ago I heard someone from out of town ask the question 
"What's the deal with all the burrito places in Clemson?" It's a good 
question. I mean, we've probably all thought of it at least once since 
we've been here. We've had Ancheax's and Super Taco ever since I can 
remember, and now we have Moe's too. For some reason, I started thinking 
about this question again a couple days ago and it's bothered me enough to 
get it out today. Mostly, I started thinking about what this guy said about 
the burrito places. He said that he thought that Moe's was much better than 
Super Taco because Super Taco tasted canned, like it was just chain food. 
Before all you Moe lovers get up in arms about how I'm getting ready to 
whole-heartedly defend Super Taco, I want to make it clear that I really do 
like Moe's and enjoy their food. But I do want to make the point that Super 
taco is NOT a chain. However, Moe's IS a chain. I don't understand how this 
guy could even put this thought in his head, that Super Taco tastes like 
every other burrito place he's been to. I have never tasted the amazingness 
that Super Taco is at any burrito place I've been to. The love that they so 
obviously put into every burrito, taco, and torta they make shines through 
with every glorious bite. Ancheax's (another favorite, non-chain burrito 
place) and Moe's are great, but I feel that with that comment (it was in a 
public place), Super Taco could have gotten a bad rap. This is my chance to 
correct it.

NEXT WEEK: What's the deal with all the sub places in Clemson?

THIS WEEK: Frisbee at 5 on the field near the baseball diamond. See you all 
there.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Subject: frisbee

A couple days ago I saw a guy with a Kudzu Kids t-shirt on and could only 
assume that he is a member of this elite group of fraternity guys. I'm 
sharing this with everyone because 1. I've mentioned the Kudzu Kids in 
frisbee emails before and 2. seeing this guy gave me an awesome idea of 
bringing this fun tradition to frisbee. So here's my idea, let's all wear 
kudzu vines at frisbee this week! We'll play frisbee on the field near the 
baseball diamond today at 5 pm and it'll be BYOK.

Shannon

DISCLAIMER: Kudzu will not be required in order to play frisbee this week 
or any other week. I seriously doubt anyone will even wear or bring it. But 
we can all show up at frisbee with the hope that someone will, and perhaps 
take some pictures if someone does. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, September 30, 2005 9:45 AM
Subject: frisbee

I need to first apologize to anyone that was waiting for my sub analysis 
last week. I forgot that I had promised that the week before and was 
reminded by one hungry person after last week's email came out. So 
hopefully Alex will be able to eat this week after today's email. I'm 
actually not a big sub eater, so I'm probably not the best to write a 
detailed sub analysis like my burrito essay of two weeks ago, but I can 
maybe give a sub history of Clemson that will be interesting to some readers.

Subway and Li'l Dino's (Hendrix, Canteen) were the two original Clemson sub 
shops in my mind as they were the only two already here when I arrived at 
Clemson. I have heard that this particular Subway, on the corner of 93 and 
College Ave. is one of the busiest Subway's in the US. I don't know if this 
is true and a quick google search didn't turn up any evidence, but if 
you've ever been there on a game day, you might believe it. Interestingly 
enough, Clemson's Subway has their own website.


In the past year, there has been a rash of sub shop openings starting with 
Firehouse Subs, then Jersey Mike's, and most recently, Quizno's. And 
although I have not tried Quizno's yet (or Jersey Mike's), I do enjoy the 
Quizno's cup. Hopefully he will learn how to dance soon.

So enjoy your subs and we'll be playing frisbee today at 4:30 on the field 
near the baseball diamond. Yes, a different time! I can't wait to play in 
this weather!!!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, October 07, 2005 12:03 PM
Subject: frisbee

Well, I'm going to be lazy today and just send the boring, but quick, 
frisbee email. Two things first, I failed to mention Beezer's last week in 
the sub email and unfortunately offended some die-hard Beezerites. Sorry. 
Second, although there was a request last week for more restaurant reviews, 
I am taking an indefinite hiatus from the world of the restaurant critic. 
The next time you see a frisbee-related restaurant review, you will know 
that I couldn't think of anything else to write about. Finally, frisbee 
will be today at 4:30 on the field near the baseball diamond. And yes, we 
play in the rain.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Tuesday, October 11, 2005 9:02 AM
Subject: soccer

Hey frisbee players!

  I'm starting a weekly pick-up soccer game on tuesdays at 5 pm.  We'll be 
playing today on the same field you usually play frisbee on. If any of you 
would be interested in coming out, please do and bring your friends!  It 
will be very laid back and slow paced, but a great way to get some fun 
exercise.  I will not use this email list in the future, so if any of you 
won't make it tonight but think you might want to come out another day, 
just let me know.

Hope to see some of you out there,

Shaina Race

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, October 14, 2005 9:42 AM
Subject: frisbee

Did you all know that there is an ultimate frisbee class offered at 
Clemson? Among many other exciting activities (where were these when I was 
in undergrad?), LS100 offers 3 sections of "Frisbee Sports". Now, you can 
pay to take this class if you want. In fact, there are 60 students enrolled 
in these 3 sections. But we offer you every week a chance to play ultimate 
frisbee, a "Frisbee Sport," for free. So why would you not want to come out 
and join us at 5 pm today on the field near the baseball diamond?

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 11:46 AM
Subject: frisbee

Did you all see that Mr. Belding is speaking at Furnman tonight?!!!????!?
For those of you who don't know, Mr. Belding (known as Dennis Haskins in
real life) was the good-hearted but often in the dark principal on the
popular tv show, Saved By the Bell. Now, being a huge SBTB fan myself, I
would totally understand if someone decides to go listen to Mr. Belding
tonight instead of playing frisbee. But for those of you who won't be able
to make it, I propose that we honor this great show by playing a game of
frisbee today. Although those wacky kids at Bayside High never played
frisbee that I remember, there was wrestling, dancing, cheerleading,
basketball, football, and let's not forget the nail-biting competition
between the boys and girls to see who would get money for their sports
(they ended up splitting it). So bring yourself and your favorite SBTB
memory to the field near the baseball diamond today at 5. See you there!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, October 28, 2005 2:15 PM
Subject: frisbee

Every year, frisbee players everywhere have to start thinking about
cooling temperatures and decreasing daylight hours. It's that time of year
for us. So, starting today, we will slowly wean ourselves away from our 5
o'clock time so that we'll have a little bit more daylight to play in. The
weaning process will take place over 2 weeks, in increments of 15 minutes
each. This means that today, we'll be playing frisbee on the field near
the baseball diamond at 4:45. I'll let you know the schedule for next week
a little closer to time for next week's game. Here's to early frisbee!!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, November 04, 2005 12:52 PM
Subject: frisbee

Here's some useless word trivia:

meteorology = The science that deals with the phenomena of the atmosphere,
especially weather and weather conditions

meteor = every phenomenon that occurs in the atmosphere
(thunders,rainbows,etc) including shooting stars

Thus the correct word for the study of meteors should be meteorology.

So barring any unforseen meteorological disturbances, we'll be playing
frisbee today at 4 pm (yes, that says 4 pm, it's getting dark early) on
the field near the baseball diamond.

Shannon


Special thanks in this week's email goes to dictionary.com,
and Jason for asking the question.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Friday, November 04, 2005 1:28 PM
Subject: Re: frisbee

Here's another piece of useless trivia that very few (if any) of you will
find interesting.

ediology = word not found

As far as I can tell this word does not exist.  It is a common misspelling
of etiology -- which is the study of the origin of diseases.

spectrology = the study of ghosts

Go figure!

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, November 11, 2005 12:43 PM
Subject: frisbee

Many of us may have been missing/celebrating the lack of TAFEL emails this
semester. Whatever your take, you are probably wondering why the number of
TAFEL responses has decreased so drastically this semester (from positive
to 0). I was recently sent this piece of evidence that may explain the
nonexistent TAFEL opposition this semester. In this picture, you will see
TAFEL spokesman, Tim(e) Flowers playing a familiar game. Tim, do not be
afraid, we will welcome you and all other non-frisbee playing people at
our frisbee game this afternoon. Field near the baseball diamond at 4 pm.

Shannon

PS. I might also point out the flowered red bags at Tim's feet. Hmmm....


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, November 18, 2005 12:34 PM
Subject: frisbee

Hi all,

We'll be playing frisbee today at 4 pm on the field near the baseball
diamond. And, in case anyone was wondering, cold weather is PERFECT for
playing frisbee! Now, since the semester is getting close to the end and I
know everyone is running out of things to do, I thought I'd send out a
couple things for everyone to look at and enjoy.

First, I'm not sure if this has been sent out yet this semester. If it
has, sorry for the repeat and go to "second". If there is one thing that
TAFEL members and the FEW agree on, it is the need to celebrate the
history of our disagreements. As such, we try every semester to send out
an email with the link that documents every argument, every joke, every
insult, every frisbee/tafel email from beginning to end. So if you've
never seen it, here's the link to the frisbee email archive...

Frisbee E-mail Archive

Second, so that no one thinks we're insane for 1) sending these emails
(well, I probably can't convince some people of that) and 2) keeping a
record of all of them, I'm including a this link for a similar "announcement
email" that John sent me this summer.


See you all later,

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Tuesday, November 22, 2005 10:05 AM
Subject: frisbee

It looks like afew people are going ot get together this afternoon to play
frisbee. If anyone is around and wants to play, we'll play at 4 pm in our
regular place, field near the baseball diamond. Happy Thanksgiving!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, December 09, 2005 12:27 PM
Subject: frisbee

For your reading enjoyment this week, I have adapted the much-quoted
seasonal poem, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, which you will find
below. Keep in mind as you read it that I am not a poet. So read it with
(roughly) the same rhythm as the original, forgive some grammar errors,
and come to frisbee!

Shannon

      *****************************************************

      TWAS THE DAY BEFORE FINALS

      Twas the day before finals
      When all through the halls
      All classes were ending
      With “No more homework!” calls.

      The students were heading back to their dorm rooms
      With nightmares of hard finals spelling their dooms.
      And I in my office, with other grads in theirs too,
      Had just settled in to take-home finals with no clue.

      When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
      I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
      Finally, my excuse to stop working for a while,
      I quickly capped my pen and saved my computer file.

      And what was that I saw?
      A man, so very tall.
      He threw a Frisbee right past me
      With a loud “DISC!” call.

      I said “What? What is this?
      A frisbee in the hall?
      What does this mean?
      And why are you so tall?”

      He said “My tallness doesn’t matter,
      Only my game.
      I’ve come to save you from work,
      So you don’t get too lame.”

      “For the semester’s almost over,
      Everyone’ll be heading to their home dive.
      This could be the last chance
      To play Frisbee in ‘oh five.”

      “So play today,
      It’s never a chore.
      Don’t regret not playing,
      Don’t regret anymore.”

      Down the hall went he and the disc,
      Playing in the hall, such a risk!
      He started to run, and ran as he appealed,

      ‘Play Frisbee at 4, near the baseball field!‘

      *****************************************************

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Tuesday, December 13, 2005 9:44 AM
Subject: frisbee

It looks like we're going to try to get enough people together to play a
mid-finals-week game of frisbee. If you're interested, we'll play at 3:30
on the field near the baseball diamond.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, December 16, 2005 12:04 PM
Subject: frisbee

Well, let's try to play one more game of frisbee before the break. I
imagine at this point in finals week, everyone falls into one or more of
the following categories:

1. Will be playing frisbee

2. Already at home or not coming in to school for a while

3. Grading common tests

4. Madly trying to finish take-home exams or study for in-class exams

5. Doesn't ever play frisbee but is reading this email in hopes that I
   will make a pitiful attempt to be clever

6. Doesn't ever play frisbee and has deleted or filtered out this email
   before ever reading it.

Whatever category you fall in, if you'd like to play frisbee today, let's
meet on the field near the baseball diamond at 4 pm. If we don't have
enough for a normal game, we'll play a classic game of triangle frisbee.

Shannon

top

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2006 11:18 AM
Subject: frisbee

I'm sure that, over the break, everyone realized how much they missed
frisbee and the frisbee emails. Never fear, both are back! Since there are
a few new people, I'll dedicate this first email to letting you all know
what this is all about! So, for quite a few years, people in the math
department have been getting together on Friday afternoons with a few
people in other departments and even some lucky enough to be out of school
already to play a game of Ultimate Frisbee. We welcome anyone and
everyone, all skill and lack-of-skill levels. If you don't know how to
play ultimate, we'll teach you. If you don't know how to throw a frisbee,
we don't care. If you've played ultimate before, you may be able to teach
us a thing or two. It's a pretty laid-back, non-competitive game, so it's
a good time to come out and have some fun after a week of classes.
(Technically not a week this time or next time, but close enough.)

Today we'll be playing at 4:30 (this sometimes changes) on the field near
the baseball diamond (this almost never changes). So if you're new (or not
new but have never been) and want to try the game out, email me back and
I'll send you a map. See you all later!

Shannon

PS. If there is lightning this afternoon, we won't play. If there is
    thunder and rain, we'll probably play until someone's hair starts standing
    up. Then we all duck.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, January 20, 2006 9:57 AM
Subject: frisbee

Most of you all know that I send out an email every Friday announcing the
time and place of the weekly frisbee game. For those of you who don't know
this, that's what I do. For most of you, other than a few FEW that take
over this duty, nay, this priveledge, for me every once in a while, I am
the only main frisbee announcer that you know. I do find comfort to know
that there are still some out there who were here when the great John
Villapando wrote the email every week. But here's what today's email comes
down to. This month marks my 3 year anniversary of writing the frisbee
email and I'm running out of ideas. With the recent lack of TAFEL emails,
I've found it hard to cover up this fact by periodically responding to
TAFEL mud-slinging. So this semester, I've decided to take a different
approach. I've decided that I will bring back some of the great frisbee
emails of the past so that those of us that were here can relive their
awesomeness and those of you that weren't, can see just what the frisbee
email can be. I will substitute the current time and place of our game
into the old email. Feel free to nominate your own favorite frisbee email.
I will also invite anyone who would like to try their hand at writing the
frisbee announcement to submit their own email to me (TAFEL members need
not apply). I will substitute correct time and place into your email and
send it to everyone. So I hope you all enjoy this semester of classics.
And I'll see everyone who wants to play frisbee on the field near the
baseball diamond at 4:30 today.

Shannon

PS. Again, if you're new and would like to play with us, email me to get a
    map to the field.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, January 27, 2006 12:19 PM
Subject: classic frisbee

Nate Drake has requested this past frisbee email to be brought back today.
Thanks, Nate, for your input and everyone else keep the requests coming!
Remember that today's time and place are substituted into the "classic" 
frisbee email.

Shannon

      ******Classic Frisbee E-mail ********

      Most of you all know that I send out an email every Friday announcing the
      time and place of the weekly frisbee game. For those of you who don't know
      this, that's what I do. For most of you, other than a few FEW that take
      over this duty, nay, this priveledge, for me every once in a while, I am
      the only main frisbee announcer that you know. I do find comfort to know
      that there are still some out there who were here when the great John
      Villapando wrote the email every week. But here's what today's email comes
      down to. This month marks my 3 year anniversary of writing the frisbee
      email and I'm running out of ideas. With the recent lack of TAFEL emails,
      I've found it hard to cover up this fact by periodically responding to
      TAFEL mud-slinging. So this semester, I've decided to take a different
      approach. I've decided that I will bring back some of the great frisbee
      emails of the past so that those of us that were here can relive their
      awesomeness and those of you that weren't, can see just what the frisbee
      email can be. I will substitute the current time and place of our game
      into the old email. Feel free to nominate your own favorite frisbee email.
      I will also invite anyone who would like to try their hand at writing the
      frisbee announcement to submit their own email to me (TAFEL members need
      not apply). I will substitute correct time and place into your email and
      send it to everyone. So I hope you all enjoy this semester of classics.
      And I'll see everyone who wants to play frisbee on the field near the
      baseball diamond at 4:30 today.

      Shannon

      PS. Again, if you're new and would like to play with us, email me to get a
      map to the field.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, February 03, 2006 8:46 AM
Subject: vintage frisbee

Hi all, John Chrispell has requested today's frisbee email, originally
released September 19, 2002 by John Villapando. Unfortunately I have had
to alter the email a little more than I would have liked to fit in our
current time. Because of this, I am including both the revised email
immediately below and the original song from the email below that. Enjoy!

Shannon


      ****** Classic Frisbee E-mail ********

      Hi all,

          In response to Kelly's pre-response I have altered the words to a song
      sung by Woody on Cheers.  So if you recall the song(ie. are old and have
      been her too long) you may want to hum it as you read.

      Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly ...
      K, E, L, L, why?
      Because we have
      Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby ...
      F, R, I, B where?
      Near the baseball
      Diamond, Diamond, Diamond, Dimond, Diamond, Diamond, Diamond, Diamond ...
      D, I, ? ? ? , D, when?
      At or around
      four, thirty, four, thirty, four, thirty, four, thirty...
      F, O, U, R, thirty???
      Because he's
      Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man
      Kelly, Man Kelly ...
      M, A, N, K, E, L, L Y.

      Thanks,
      John

      P.S.  I promise not to sing at frisbee.  So I hope to see everyone out
      there this week aside rom those who are too busy, have a more interesting
      life, or in general just don't like round objects flying at them.



      **********SONG IN ORIGINAL FORMAT *********

      Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly ...
      K, E, L, L, why?
      Because we have
      Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby, Frisby ...
      F, R, I, B where?
      Near the baseball
      Diamond, Diamond, Diamond, Dimond, Diamond, Diamond, Diamond, Diamond ...
      D, I, ? ? ? , D, when?
      At or around
      four, for, four, for, four, four, four, four ...
      F, O, U, R, huh???
      Because he's
      Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man Kelly, Man
      Kelly, Man Kelly ...
      M, A, N, K, E, L, L Y.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, February 10, 2006 10:06 AM
Subject: replay frisbee

This week's frisbee email is one that sparked quite a lot of controversy.
Although I didn't check that this is true, this email may have had the
most emails written in response to it. At least the most emails that were
sent out to the frisbee list. See if you can figure out why and we'll see
if it still has the same power.

I've again had to change the poem format more than I'd like to fit today's
time in, so the original haiku is at the bottom of the email.

Shannon


      ****** Classic Frisbee E-mail ********

      A short frisbee haiku, I guess they're all short, though:

      Today we will all play
      The baseball field at 4:30
      Frisbee, game of the day


      Shannon

      **************************************************************

      Today we will all play
      The baseball field at 4 we meet
      Frisbee, game of the day

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, February 17, 2006 9:23 AM
Subject: frisbee tivo

This week's frisbee email, originally written by Jason Martin, 8/27/03, is
being repeated out of necessity. Although deserving to be repeated because
of its greatness, I am using it today because we find ourselves in a
similar situation today as the one we were in when it was written. Since
today is the first baseball game of the season, we're expecting our
regular field to be filled with cars. So we're moving the game. Time,
location, and directions are below, but if you have questions, ask me, not
Jason. I don't want to volunteer his services without consent. See you all
later,

Shannon

By the way, a valiant effort, but last week's frisbee haiku responses
didn't quite catch up with the original response. Bo, you were correct
about the original syllable dispute, although I still swear that I
remember being taught 5-7-5 and 6-8-6 in elementary school. But, anyone
who knows me knows you shouldn't count on my memory.


      ****** Classic Frisbee E-mail ********

      Hello all,

          We will be playing frisbee today starting at 4:30.  Due to the large
      influx of people in and around campus today we have decided to move the
      event off campus.  We will be playing at Nettles Park, which is located
      just off Issaqueena Trail.  If you get on 123 north from Clemson,
      Issaqueena is the first exit you will see.  Take Issaqueena Trail toward
      Pendleton.  Shortly, the road will split(<1mile?).  You will take the left
      fork (Nettles Park Rd.).  You will see an entrance to Nettles Park on your
      left.  Once you enter the park, follow the road all the way to the
      back.  This is where the field is located.  It will be adjacent to the
      tennis courts.  If you have any questions feel free to ask.  I will check
      my email till about 3:30 today.

      Hope to see everyone there.

      Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, February 24, 2006 9:02 AM
Subject: frisbee

No old frisbee email today, I'm just sending this out really quick. Yes,
quicker than copying and pasting. Anyway. Frisbee at 4:45 today on the
field near the baseball diamond. There is a game today, but hopefully
since it's not opening weekend we'll be able to find a spot to play, so
park where you can and look the frisbee. Hopefully we'll also be done
before the game is done!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 8:51 AM
Subject: frisbee?

I found the following email as I was browsing the frisbee & anti-frisbee
email archive. I'm not sure why it's there, so I'm using it as this week's
email to see if anyone can figure it out. On the surface, it appears to be
suggestions for names for some new SUN workstations we got a few years
ago, but perhaps it has a hidden agenda. Since I can't figure out what it
has to do with frisbee, I can't figure out where to put the time and place
for frisbee today. So here it is, frisbee on the field near the baseball
diamond at 4:30. There's no baseball game, so we should actually be able
to play there!

Shannon


      ****** Classic Frisbee E-mail ********

      Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2003 15:14:12 (EDT)
      From: Virginia Rodrigues
      Subject: SUN workstations

      I suggest Virginia, Noether, Sophie, Germain and other famous women in
      math :)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, March 10, 2006 9:33 AM
Subject: frisbee again

I did a little more investigation into last week's repeated email and I
believe I have found the reason that it is included in the frisbee
archives. Actually, I found these two emails right before I sent the email
last week, but I needed something to write about this week. Although still
not entirely sure why last week's email is on the website (any info about
this that I don't have would be welcome), it was part of the following
sequence of emails. Since these aren't directly about playing frisbee, I
will tell you here that we will be playing frisbee today at 4:30 pm at
Nettles Park. If you need to know where that is, just let me know and I'll
get you directions.

Shannon


NOTE: These emails were originally sent out in 2003. We are NOT getting
new SUN workstations right now. Do NOT send Charles your suggestions for
names!

      ****** Classic Frisbee E-mail ********

      Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2003 14:52:04
      From: Charles Allen
      Subject: SUN workstations

      We are getting several new SUN workstations for E7. I think we are
      replacing all four. I need suggestions for their names.
      -Charles

      ****** Classic Frisbee E-mail ********

      Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2003 15:02:09
      From: Kelly Waters
      Subject: SUN workstations

      > We are getting several new SUN workstations for E7.
      > I need suggestions for their names.
      > -Charles

      I suggest FEW, FED, TAFEL, and Frisbee :)

      Kelly


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, March 17, 2006 10:18 AM
Subject: frisbee

For those of you all who have been dying all week to know what the new 
SUN computers in 2003 were named, this email is for you! (Yes, another 
week on this, I'm going to draw this out as much as possible.) Two of 
the new SUN workstations were, in fact given names submitted by 
man-Kelly. One was named frisbee, and one tafel. Strangely enough, I now 
send the frisbee email from both of these computers every week. How is 
that possible you say? Last year, when computers were being moved 
around, the old computer in my office was replaced with the frisbee 
computer. Imagine my delight! However, it seemed that frisbee and tafel 
were just meant to go together in this department and the two computers 
did not perform to their full potential when separated. So they were 
brought back together and I now work on a computer that has the tafel 
inside wrapped in a nice, comforting frisbee outside. Proof positive 
that every tafel member just wants to play frisbee.

And for those of you who have been dying all week to play frisbee, we'll 
play today at 4:30 on the field near the baseball diamond. Happy Spring 
Break! And St. Patrick's Day!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, March 31, 2006 2:26 PM
Subject: frisbee rerun

Hello all. Recently, as in a few weeks to a couple months ago, we have 
had "bad" weather and many would be frisbee players have assumed that 
there would be no frisbee. I sometimes forget to write in my email our 
plans in case of not-quite-ideal weather. So this week's frisbee email 
rerun is a run-down of weather conditions that we do and don't play in. 
Be sure to save this and the next time there's a 5 minute sprinkling at 
7:30 am on a Friday (or, rarely, something harsher), you can refer to 
this to see if we'll be playing.

Shannon


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis 
Date: Fri, 25 Apr 2003 10:55:11
Subject: frisbee

With the inclement weather looming, you may be wondering about the state of
frisbee this afternoon. For future reference, I'm giving a quick guide to
which weather conditions we will and will not play frisbee in. A Yes
indicates yes, we will play, and a No indicates no, we will not play.
Today's weather forecast and answer is bolded. In all playable conditions,
we will play Friday at 4:30 on the field near the baseball diamond. The list
will be updated on a need-to-know basis, this should cover it for now.

Shannon

Condition                       Play?
Sunny                           Yes
*Cloudy*                          *Yes*
Hazy/Foggy                      Yes
Windy                           Yes, with some difficulty
Dust Storm                      In South Carolina?
Drizzly                         Yes
Rainy                           Yes
Thunderstorms with an           Yes, let's try
   inch of rain
Lightning Storm                 Maybe no, we'll wait in the cars
Hail                            How big is it?
Sleet/Slush                     Sure
Wintry Mix                      Yes
Snow                            Yes
Blizzard                        No
Tornado                         No

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, April 07, 2006 12:58 PM
Subject: frisbee rerun

Hi all. This week's old frisbee email is a personal favorite of mine. I 
had quite a few comments after sending this email so I will send it 
again to rack up some more compliments. Since the university doesn't 
send out emails in this format anymore and it is not football season 
right now, I should explain that the first few years that I was here, 
students received emails the week of every home game detailing special 
activities and procedures for that weekend. The format for these emails 
was always the same. Receiving one of these emails right before I wrote 
a frisbee email one week, I was inspired to write a frisbee email in the 
same format with the same kind of language. And although I always 
substitute the current time and place in the old email, since this is 
not football season and we don't need to worry about tailgating, to 
avoid any confusion, we will be playing today at 4:30 on the field near 
the baseball diamond. Although we do need to think about baseball games 
today...Have a good weekend everyone, play frisbee.

Shannon


      ****** Classic Frisbee E-mail ********

      Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2003 10:39:51
      From: Shannon Purvis 
      Subject: FRISBEE: FIELD UPDATE, FRIDAY EVENTS

      FRISBEE: CLEMSON MEETS CLEMSON IN HOMECOMING GAME

      Clemson's Homecoming frisbee match-up Friday, Oct. 10, with the
      Clemson math department and others will kick off at 4:30 pm.

      This frisbee weekend update contains news of special frisbee
      locations as well as other fun diversions for a fall weekend:

      1. TAILGATING MAY CAUSE FRISBEE GAME TO BE MOVED
      2. 'WHERE THE TIGERS PLAY' STILL TO BE DETERMINED
      3. 'PASS-OUTS' NOT ALLOWED; SECURITY STILL A PRIORITY
      4. POST-GAME ACTIVITIES INCLUDE A FOOTBALL GAME

      ------------------------------------------------------

      1. TAILGATING MAY CAUSE FRISBEE GAME TO BE MOVED

      Early celebration for tomorrow's football game (see #4) will bring many
      campers and tailgaters to the field near the baseball diamond. Frisbee
      players will need to discuss upon arrival at the normal field whether the
      game should be moved to another location.

      ------------------------------------------------------

      2. 'WHERE THE TIGERS PLAY' STILL TO BE DETERMINED

      All frisbee players will meet at the field near the baseball diamond at 4 pm
      or shortly thereafter. If playing at the normal field doesn't seem possible,
      the game will be moved to the intramural field across from Fike and next
      to the stadium. If that doesn't work, we will move to Nettles Park. If
      arriving
      late to the game, try the fields in this order: 1. baseball field  2.
      intramural
      field  3. Nettles Park.

      -------------------------------------------------------

      3. 'PASS-OUTS' NOT ALLOWED; SECURITY STILL A PRIORITY

      Sickness on the frisbee field is never encouraged.

      --------------------------------------------------------

      4. POST-GAME ACTIVITIES INCLUDE A FOOTBALL GAME

      Apparently the university is also hosting a football game this weekend. Go
      see the floats.


Sorry about the length of the email, see you all at frisbee!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, April 14, 2006 9:41 AM
Subject: frisbee

I gave this problem to my students on their test this week. Have fun. 
We'll play at 4:30 today on the field near the baseball diamond.

Shannon


     I play ultimate frisbee with a group of friends every Friday. We always 
     split into teams when we get there according to how many people are 
     there. Suppose that one Friday, 13 people show up to play, so we need to 
     split into a team of 6 and a team of 7.

     (a) How many ways are there to divide the people into two teams, one 
         team of 6 and one team of 7?

     (b) How many ways are there to choose a team of 6 with a team captain 
         from the 6 members?

     (c) If there are 3 girls, how many ways are there to make a team of 6 
         people with 2 girls on it?

     (d) To pick teams, we play ``ones-and-twos''. On the count of 3, 
         everyone puts out one or two fingers. We do this until the number of 
         ones and twos is as even as possible. How many possible combinations of 
         ones and twos are there? Simplify your answer as much as possible. (The 
         identity of the person holding up a 1 or 2 doesn't matter here, only if 
         a 1 or 2 is chosen.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, April 21, 2006 12:15 PM
Subject: frisbee

Since our usual night-after-the-picnic-when-we're-so-full-we-can-barely-run 
game of frisbee is just what it sounds like, we've decided to play frisbee on 
Saturday instead this week. So have fun at the picnic, eat a lot, digest 
it all, and come out and play frisbee tomorrow. We'll play at 5:30 on 
the field near the baseball diamond tomorrow.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, April 28, 2006 12:28 PM
Subject: frisbee

With this being my last frisbee email during a regular semester for a 
long time (and perhaps ever), I've been thinking about what I could 
write about to wrap up the semester appropriately. I've finally decided 
to write about a concern that was brought to my attention last week and 
confirmed just this morning before I sat down to write this email.

I'd like to talk about the state of frisbee and tafel, more exactly, the 
state of tafel and NOT of frisbee. Last week, at the department picnic, 
when it was announced that Alex had been elected the new SIAM president, 
I heard murmurings around me that while Alex will be "president", the 
real control would be held by Sundeep, the new "secretary". I was told 
that although quiet, Sundeep's rise to power in our department is all 
too real. Certainly, why else would Sundeep's only opponent in the race 
for "secretary" drop out before the voting had even begun?

Then the topic moved on to tafel. It seems that this is not the first 
time that Sundeep has held members of our department under his iron 
fist. Those of us who have been in the department for a little while 
know that when man-Kelly retired from his duties as tafel spokesman, 
there was a close run for power between Sundeep and Tim. And although 
Tim came out as the new "spokesman" for tafel, I am starting to believe 
this rumor I heard of Sundeep actually being in control of all tafel 
workings.

Why am I starting to believe this now, you ask? I have always believed 
Sundeep to be a kind individual, always a friendly word for me. I have 
been naive. Not five minutes before I sat down to write this email, I 
mentioned to Sundeep (standing in my office talking to me at the time) 
that I was getting ready to send the frisbee email. He said to me "You 
just shouldn't send it." As if SIAM and tafel aren't enough, he's trying 
to take over frisbee as well!

Well, Sundeep, we will not succumb! You will not control the Friday 
frisbee game (but you may still attend, we'd love to see you out 
there!). We WILL continue to play frisbee on Fridays! And we WILL be 
playing today at 4:30 on the field near the baseball diamond.

Members of the department, do not be afraid of Sundeep. We frisbee 
players can offer protection, if you know what I mean. Let's end this 
now and all go play frisbee today!

Shannon

Disclaimer: This email has been sent with permission of Sundeep. What do 
you have to say about THAT, Tim?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, May 12, 2006 1:08 PM
Subject: frisbee

After some confusion last week (my fault, sorry!), we're back this week 
to play frisbee. I'm not sure how many people are around this week, but 
I think enough of the regulars are here to play a game of frisbee. 
Sigh...we have no life besides school. Anyway, we'll play around 4:30 on 
the field near the baseball diamond. If you're around, haven't played 
with us, and looking for something to do, come on out!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, May 19, 2006 2:57 PM
Subject: frisbee

Crap. I forgot to send out the frisbee email. We're playing at 5 on the 
field near the baseball diamond. Crap seems like a strange word now that 
I sit here and think about it.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, June 02, 2006 10:20 AM
Subject: frisbee

Hi all! Since Clemson has been lucky enough to host a regional tournament
this week, that means we have been unlucky enough to need to move our
frisbee game! We will head to our second favorite site, Nettles Field,
today to play. I'll put directions below. We'll meet around 4:30 and be
sure to bring your own water today because Nettles doesn't have water
spigots.

Shannon

Directions:

From Clemson, take 93 towards Central.
Turn right onto 123 towards Easley.
Take the Issaqueena Trail exit.
Turn right at the top of the exit onto Issaqueena Tr.
When you come to a fork in the road, take the left tine. (sorry, I don't
know how far this is, there will be a church between the two roads.)
Nettles Park will be on the left on this road. (Maybe about 1 mile?)
Follow the park road all the way to a parking lot at the end. We play on
the large field near the tennis courts.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, June 09, 2006 9:30 AM
Subject: frisbee

Another week, antoher baseball game, another move to Nettles field! We'll
be playing frisbee there at 5 today. If you don't have the directions from
last week anymore and you're not sure how to get there, email me and I'll
send them to you. Today I know we're low on numbers, so we need a few
extra bodies to be able to play. Come out and join us!

Did anyone else have trouble parking in Brooks this morning? Everywhere I
tried to park there was a huge truck over the line.

And can anyone forward me this email that was sent out about the bear on
campus? I didn't get it!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, June 16, 2006 8:49 AM
Subject: frisbee

Looks like we'll be able to play on the regular field today, so we'll play
at 5 on the field near the baseball diamond!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2006 10:39 AM
Subject: frisbee

Hi everyone. We're going to play frisbee today at 4 on the Rugby field. 
Bring your water!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, June 30, 2006 3:10 PM
Subject: frisbee

Hi everyone. Frisbee will be today at 5 pm on the rugby field. I know a 
lot of regulars will be gone, but I also know that there are still 
people that will be out there to play. So if you've ever thought about 
playing frisbee, they need you this week! Good job to all of you that 
are finishing prelims! Take a break and go play frisbee!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Thursday, July 06, 2006 10:29 PM
Subject: frisbee

Hi everyone. We'll play frisbee at 5 on Friday. I don't know if the soccer
camps are still going on, so we'll just play on the Rugby field again. If
you see some new people starting school tomorrow, tell them about us!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Friday, July 14, 2006 1:07 PM
Subject: Re: frisbee

We're going to play frisbee today at the Rugby field (same location as
last couple of weeks) at 5pm.  Hope to see everyone (Allen?) there.

Jason


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Friday, July 21, 2006 2:18 PM
Subject: Re: frisbee

We're going to play frisbee today at the Rugby field (same location as
last couple of weeks) at 5pm.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, July 28, 2006 9:49 AM
Subject: frisbee

Hi everyone! I heard a rumor that there were lots of people to play 
frisbee last week, so I hope to see you all this week! We'll play at 5 
on the rugby field. Special thanks to Jason who took over the frisbee 
email while I was gone even though I forgot to ask him!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, August 04, 2006 10:11 AM
Subject: frisbee

It is especially important to come play frisbee today as we will be 
having a small break in the middle of the game to announce and point to 
where the frisbee game will be held next week. Although I felt that my 
instructions and directions could certainly lead everyone to the correct 
location this week, many frisbee-goers that I talked to were concerned 
that my email skills are not as developed as I seem to believe them to 
be after 3+ years of sending out the frisbee email. So we'll play at the 
Rugby field again today at 5. See you all there,

Shannon


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, August 11, 2006 10:27 AM
Subject: frisbee

Well, I wasn't around anyone last night to convince me to not change the 
frisbee location this week, so the frisbee game will return to it's 
normal field today! So the frisbee game will start at about 5 pm on the 
field near the baseball diamond. For those of you that are new, this is 
the intramural field directly across Perimeter Rd. from the football 
stadium. There are water spigots out there, so all you need is a water 
bottle. Unless you want cold water. Then you should bring that yourself.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, August 18, 2006 10:17 AM
Subject: [Possible Spam] frisbee
Importance: Low

Hey everyone, we'll play frisbee on the field near the baseball diamond
today at 5. If you need ot know where it is let me know!

Shannnon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Friday, August 25, 2006 2:47 PM
Subject: frisbee

We're going to play frisbee today at the field by the baseball stadium
(same place as last week).

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Friday, August 25, 2006 3:09 PM
Subject: frisbee -- time added (5pm)
Importance: Low

We're going to play ultimate frisbee today at 5pm on the field by the
baseball stadium (same place as last week).

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Friday, September 01, 2006 7:41 AM
Subject: frisbee

We will be celebrating the start of the football season with our weekly
ultimate frisbee game.

We're going to play ultimate frisbee today at 5pm on the field by the
baseball stadium (same place as last week).

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jason Martin
Sent: Friday, September 08, 2006 8:47 AM
Subject: frisbee

Hello all,

   I'm sending this to a select group this week.  If you are receiving
this email, then either

     1.  I deem you to be somewhat of a regular to frisbee
or
     2.  Your name is Tim

I'm doing this so that there will not be any direct competition with the
SIAM picnic this afternoon.  There are enough of us regulars that will not
be attending the picnic to make a game of ultimate worthwhile.

We will be playing at 5pm on the intramural field by the baseball stadium.
 If you are planning on going to the picnic, have a good time and you are
more than welcome to drop by afterward to see if we're still playing and
potentially run off a few pounds.

Also, if you are planning on attending frisbee, feel free to invite anyone
that you would like.  Even if you think they may have received the email
it's possible that this week they did not, so make a new friend and bring
them to frisbee.

Jason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, September 15, 2006 12:30 PM
Subject: frisbee

Hi everyone! We'll be playing frisbee at 5 on the field near the 
baseball diamond. Now don't get that confused with 5 moon time, because 
I've heard there is no time on the moon!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, September 22, 2006 10:54 AM
Subject: frisbee

I saw a t-shirt in the library today that said "Music is the outburst of 
the soul." Well, outburst wasn't the actual word, but it was something 
along those lines. So I thought I'd try to come up with a similar 
inspirational/descriptive saying about frisbee. Keep in mind I'm not 
very good at this kind of thing.

Here's my first attempt: Frisbee is the soaring arc from the arm.
Here's my second attempt: Frisbee is at 5 on the field near the baseball 
diamond.

Feel free to take the words from the second attempt to heart and come 
out and give us your inspirational frisbee quote.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis
Sent: Friday, September 29, 2006 11:13 AM
Subject: frisbee

I was recently asked the question: Cavemen vs. Astronauts? Now, I 
thought, what is the actual question here? Who is better looking? 
Astronauts. Who has longer hair? Cavemen. Who has better 
tools/equipment? Astronauts. Who eats roast duck with mango salsa? Cavemen.

Now, the actual question was "Who would win [a fight]?" I chose Cavemen. 
After all, they have longer hair and could perhaps could pound the 
astronauts pretty little faces to a pulp. Yes, I know those two things 
have nothing to do with each other and that was a somewhat gruesome 
statement, but I needed a reason.

But I propose that the question should not actually be who would win a 
fight, but who would win in a frisbee game between cavemen and 
astronauts? Come to frisbee with your answer today and we'll divide into 
cavemen and astronaut teams and see who really wins. We'll play at 5 pm 
on the field near the baseball diamond. I'll be on the caveperson team.

Shannon

PS. If you'd like to vote on the original question, go by O-11. There's 
    a sheet on the door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Purvis Lockard
Sent: Friday, October 20, 2006 10:31 AM
Subject: frisbee

Hey everyone. So there's a big football game tomorrow night, homecoming 
and all, two close ranked teams, ESPN on campus yadda yadda. We all know 
that the real attraction today is the Orange & Purple baseball 
scrimmage. What I like about this scrimmage is that the baseball players 
aren't afraid to be different. Rather than go with the more popular 
Orange & WHITE colors for the scrimmage (as basketball is doing tomorrow 
and football does earlier in the year), they dare to be purple. I 
believe that people will support this change by parking on our regular 
frisbee field to go watch the game. So we need to move to Nettles Park. 
We'll play at 5 pm on the field at the back of Nettles. If you need 
directions, let me know!

Shannon Lockard (nee Purvis)

PS. Does anyone know if the football players got the all-purple uniforms 
    they wanted?

PPS. Does anyone know why they wanted all purple uniforms?

PPPS. Does anyone remember adding all those P's in middle/high school? 
      Kind of ridiculous, huh? Wouldn't it be much easier to write it as 
      P^nS? I'm going to start doing that from now on.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Lockard
Sent: Friday, October 27, 2006 11:25 AM
Subject: frisbee

Since it's supposed to be raining all day, I'm not really sure how many 
people will show up to play frisbee today. Sure, we normally play 
frisbee when it rains, but it is also cold today, so I understand that 
some of you may not want to get cold and wet. I think I'll show up at 
the field near the baseball diamond today around 5. If you think you'd 
like to try playing frisbee, or you just want to delay your decision 
until then, meet me there. If not, then don't.

If you choose not to come, I went ahead and did a little research on 
what to do on a rainy day. Interestingly enough, I found a lot of things 
to do in New England. Since that's not really an option for most of us 
reading this email, I came across another website with a few 
suggestions. I found this website interesting because at times its 
author seems to get children/people confused with kittens. Case in 
point: #5 on the list says to have a "junk modeling session" where you 
get out boxes, containers, etc and make things with them. I certainly 
know that I could have saved a bit of money from buying toys for my cats 
in the past few years if I had just given them a set of boxes.

But my favorite item on the list of what to do on a rainy day is #10: 
Play with string. Yes, that's right, play with string. My cats love 
string. The description of this item even  talks about getting out 
toilet paper rolls.  My cats LOVE empty toilet paper rolls.

So if you don't want to come out to play frisbee today AND you're a cat, 
check out http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/kids_activities.htm for some 
suggestions on what to do with your afternoon.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Lockard
Sent: Friday, November 03, 2006 10:24 AM
Subject: frisbee

I have been eating candy all week. I can't stop myself. Really, this 
should come as no surprise to me as, knowing full well that I would have 
no trick-or-treaters at my house, I went ahead and bought 2 bags of 
candy. Not only that, I've been eating ice cream (well, sherbet...could 
be worse) and potato chips all week. I need to exercise. Please come 
play frisbee with me at 4:30 on the field near the baseball diamond. 
We'll eat candy afterwards!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Lockard
Sent: Friday, November 10, 2006 11:18 AM
Subject: frisbee

Here's a question for everyone that I've been thinking about for the 
past few minutes. I'm not an avid sports watcher, so this question has 
come up in my head a few times before and now I'm sharing it for lack of 
something better to write today. Most sports, although it is proper to 
call it a goal when points are scored, have their own name for this; 
football: touchdown, basketball: basket. Some  sports only seem to use 
the word goal, at least as far as I can tell; soccer, hockey. Some 
sports don't use the word goal at all, I can't think of ever calling a 
point in frisbee a goal and I've actually been laughed at when I called 
a basketball "basket" a "goal."

So here's my question, if we call a basketball goal a basket, shouldn't 
we call a soccer goal a net? A football goal a goalpost? Why the 
ambiguity? Why the double standard? Who decides what we call or don't 
call a goal in a particular sport? Is there a way to know just from the 
sport name? Why do some sports get two or more names and some only get 
one? What is a goal in jai-alai called?

If you have any answers for me, we can discuss it between points at 
frisbee today. If you don't have answers for me, I can try to retrace my 
thought process for you of how my mind went from Veteran's Day to sports 
goals. Whatever you come out for, we'll be playing frisbee at 4:30 on 
the field near the baseball diamond.

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Kelly Waters
Sent: Friday, November 10, 2006 11:32 AM
To: Shannon Lockard
Subject: RE: frisbee

Shannon,

I trust you will forgive me for not writing recently.  I have been recuperating 
from severe depression brought on by the realization that you changed your last 
name :)

In any event, as usual, I am truly impressed.  Your observations and analysis of 
the improprieties in sporting activities is yet another jewel in a long line of 
priceless discussions.

Kelly

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Lockard
Sent: Monday, November 13, 2006 9:30 AM
To: Kelly Waters
Subject: Re: frisbee

Yes, Kelly, it's official. You've lost your chance  ;-)

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Lockard
Sent: Friday, November 17, 2006 10:13 AM
Subject: frisbee

Hi everyone, today we're going to play frisbee at 4:30 on the field near 
the baseball diamond. There should be no campers out this week, so if 
you have avoided the frisbee field in the past for fear of running into 
very early tailgaters, this is your week.

In other news, and I believe I've said this before, but it really is 
true this time, my days of writing the frisbee email are numbered. If 
not already, we will soon be able to count the emails left on one hand, 
my measurement for when things are close. I am mentioning this for two 
reasons. First, so those of you who look forward to reading my email 
every week can begin to prepare yourself for its departure. Don't worry, 
I will find someone to take my place. Second, so those of you who block 
my email address so you don't have to read the frisbee email every week 
will know that you can soon turn that filter off. Don't worry, I will 
find someone to take my place. In the meantime, I will continue to write 
emails that in some way amuse me, but probably aren't funny at all to 
anyone else. Enjoy!

Shannon

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Lockard
Sent: Friday, December 01, 2006 12:38 PM
Subject: frisbee

Does anyone else take this as a sign that the weather has been gross all 
week and today it clears up? Just in time for the grass to dry out by 
4:30? I bet it might even warm up a little bit more, if it's not already 
warm enough for you in December! So as a response to the improving 
weather, we'll play frisbee at 4:30 today on the field near the baseball 
diamond. I know, really we would have played anyway, but at least now we 
won't be wet afterwards!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Lockard
Sent: Friday, December 08, 2006 10:33 AM
Subject: frisbee

It recently occurred to me that some people may not come play frisbee 
with us because they're afraid of getting hurt. I would like to allay 
those people's fears today. In the many years that I've been playing, 
there have been relatively few injuries, and none that anyone had to go 
to the hospital or doctor for. That I know of.

I myself have only been hurt 2 times in the past 6 years of playing 
frisbee. Yep, that's a lot of time. The first time was when I was hit in 
the nose by someone throwing the frisbee. He threw it hard and I'm 
pretty sure he might have broken my nose. But I made it through and 
later married him. So that injury turned out pretty well. I was hit 
again last week when I somehow failed to block the frisbee and it hit me 
in the chin. However, this week I actually had one day where I got 
something done in my research rather than other weeks when I have no 
seemingly productive days. So that injury didn't turn out too bad.

What I'm saying is, even if you get hurt while playing frisbee, which 
you most likely won't, eventually something in your life will somehow 
work out and you can contribute it to the injury. We're playing today at 
4:30 on the field near the baseball diamond, come out and get hurt!

Shannon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shannon Lockard
Sent: Friday, December 15, 2006 11:55 AM
Subject: frisbee

As this is the last time this semester, even year, that we will be 
playing frisbee, and the last time I will be sending out the email, I 
thought that I would rip off a famous farewell speech to express the 
significance of this day while still being entertaining and 
lighthearted. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any that I thought would 
do. I found many farewell quotes from political figures: Napoleon, 
Nixon, presidents, kings, generals, but not of them seemed quite right. 
I couldn't really figure out how to use Lou Gehrig's famous line in 
reference to frisbee. And Sami Brady on Days of Our Lives was completely 
off in her last speech before lethal injection, which never actually 
happened and she still to this day has not quite learned the lesson she 
claimed to have.

Movie goodbyes came the closest, although most of those don't quite cut 
it either. Although many of you that don't play frisbee and don't enjoy 
the emails may think Rhett Butler's last line in Gone With the Wind is 
extremely accurate, for those of us who love playing frisbee, it's not 
quite appropriate. E.T. said "I'll be right here." Hmm, well frisbee 
will be right on Friday again next year, but that doesn't have the same 
effect. The Terminator: "I'll be back." Yes, frisbee will be back, but 
we're also playing today. Hannibal Lecter: "I do wish we could chat 
longer. But I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye." I can't even try.

I can, however, say to everyone, if that disc is thrown at 4:30 today on 
the field near the baseball diamond and you're not there to catch it, 
you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon; 
and for the rest of your life.

Finally, to everyone who has read my emails for the past 5 years, 
laughed at them, responded to them, to those who haven't read my emails 
or haven't laughed at them, to all one/few-time frisbee players, TAFEL 
members, ALGAE members, FEW, and regular frisbee players:

We'll always have frisbee.

Shannon

top

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Nate Drake
Sent: Friday, January 26, 2007 2:18 PM
Subject: Frisbee

For those of you that may have believed that TAFEL had won, do not be
mistaken. Frisbee is not dead. Frisbee is alive and well, although we have
been in a state of transition. Regrettably, Shannon Lockard has departed
and she had to choose someone to continue the long honored tradition of
writing the weekly frisbee email. I, Nathan Drake, have been bestowed with
this honor. I know that many of you probably have some questions, so I
will attempt pose and answer some of those questions.

      Q: Will there still be frisbee each week?
      A: Yes

      Q: Is there frisbee this week?
      A: Yes

      Q: If there is frisbee this week, what time will it begin?
      A: 4:30

      Q: If there is frisbee this week, where will it be played?
      A: On the field near the baseball diamond

      Q: Can I (the reader of this email) join in playing frisbee?
      A: Yes, everyone is welcome

      Q: Will there still be weekly frisbee emails?
      A: Yes

      Q: Can I (the reader of this email) write the frisbee emails?
      A. Yes

      Q: If there will be weekly frisbee emails, can I (the reader of this
         email) opt out of them?
      A: No, however you (the reader of this email) may promptly delete them
         after reading the subject line: Frisbee

      Q: If there will be future frisbee emails, when should I expect to receive
         them?
      A: Probably late in the afternoon, just hours before we actually play.

      Q: That does not seem very responsible, should someone else be writing the
         frisbee email to inform us so that we can make a decision about when to
         head to the field?
      A. Yes, someone else should write the frisbee email

      Q: Can I (the reader of this email) write the frisbee emails?
      A. Yes

      Q: If there are weekly frisbee emails, why didn't I (the reader of this
         email) get one the past two weeks?
      A: I am looking into this and it appears as if I simply did not do my job,
         but I am still looking for other people to blame it on.

      Q: Shannon (and those before her) seemed to often have something fun,
         witty, or interesting to read other than just the time and place of
         frisbee, with you (Nate) at the helm, surely we can't expect this to
         continue. Can we?
      A: No, while I may write a lengthy email, most likely it will not be fun,
         witty, or interesting.

      Q: Can I (the reader of this email) write the frisbee emails?
      A. Yes

      Q: I don't expect much from the emails composed by you (Nate). Should I?
      A: No. In fact, the lower your expectations, the better.

      Q: Can I (the reader of this email) write the frisbee emails?
      A. Yes

      Q: If you (Nate) are going to do such a poor job of composing the emails,
         why don't we get someone else?
      A: I have already been asking myself the same question.

      Q: Can I (reader of this email) compose future frisbee emails?
      A: Yes.

      Q: Has TAFEL won?
      A: No

      Q: TAFEL reminds me of toffee, do you (Nate) have anything with toffee in it?
      A: Sorry, but no

      Q: Toffee reminds me of things I (reader of this email) like, and I would
         like to know, can I (reader of this email) compose future frisbee emails?
      A: Yes.

Well, I guess that about covers it. If you have any other questions about
this time of transition, bring them out and ask while we play frisbee at
4:30 on the field near the baseball diamond.


Nate

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From: Nate Drake
Sent: Friday, February 02, 2007 2:16 PM
Subject: Frisbee

I answered the question that many of you had posed last week, has TAFEL
won, with the an overwhelming NO. However, four other
questions/observations came up after last weeks email.

1. (Question) When & where will frisbee be on Friday Feb. 2?

We will have frisbee today, Friday Feb. 2, at 4:30ish on the field near
the baseball diamond. All are welcome, so come out and join us.

2. (Question) It is obvious that TAFEL has not won, however, has TAFEL lost?

This is a distinct possibility as there has been no TAFEL chatter in
recent months. In fact, I received an email in response to last weeks
Frisbee email asking the following question:

So what is TAFEL?

That's right there are people out there that don't know who or what TAFEL
stands for (The Anti-Frisbee Email League). In fact, I am beginning to
believe that the so-called leaders of TAFEL have lost sight of what they
stand for as well. For those of you who are history buffs and would like
to read about the rise and fall of TAFEL, may I direct your attention to
the Frisbee E-mail Archive documenting TAFEL's rise from 1999-2005.


3. (Observation) As noted above, I received an email asking: So what is TAFEL?

Now, not only does this show how TAFEL has fallen, but it also shows that
there is in fact someone that reads the frisbee email. So, for those of
you who do not read the frisbee email, please know, there are in fact some
people (or at least one person) that do read it. (Also, for those of you
that do not read the frisbee email, you are probably also not reading this
one, so strike the last sentence.)

4. (Question) I don't recall whether the following question came up last
week or not, so just to make sure that it is covered, here it is:
Can I (the reader of this email) write the frisbee emails? Yes


So, to sum up, for members of TAFEL who have lost sight of what they stand
for, please come play frisbee with us today at 4:30ish on the field near
the baseball diamond to help rediscover yourself. And for those of you
that are not members of TAFEL, come play frisbee with us today at 4:30ish
on the field near the baseball diamond and discuss the fall of TAFEL as
well as the ongoing discussion about who would like to write the frisbee
email.

Hope to see you all there.

Nate Drake

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From: Nate Drake
Sent: Friday, February 09, 2007 2:21 PM
Subject: Unclaimed Frisbee Fortune

Dear Reader,

I know this mail may meet you as a surprise but I have to start by
introducing myself to you, I am Nathan Drake, a math Graduate student at
Clemson University. It has come to my knowledge that the fortune of the
inventor of the Frisbee, Fred Morrison, has gone unclaimed. Because of my
involvement with the frisbee email I am unable to claim this fortune.
However, YOU can claim this fortune.
In order to do this, all you have to do is show up at the field near the
baseball diamond at 4:30 and I will give you further instructions. The
fortune is large enough, so all are welcome to come learn about this
Frisbee fortune and how they can claim a piece of it.
I know this sounds like a scam, but it's not.

Thank you

I hope to see you all at the field near the baseball diamond at 4:30 to
enjoy the fortune of Frisbee.

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From: John Light
Sent: Friday, February 16, 2007 1:27 PM
Subject: Our subjugation of the Frisbee Email is complete

After extensive and probably painful negotiations, Mr. Drake has turned over 
the Frisbee email list to The Association For Frisbee Emails, Today and Always.
This is not a test. Do not adjust your spam filters. We are controlling 
correspondence. You will be informed of the time and location of the Frisbee game, 
this and every Friday.
 
And this Friday, Frisbee will take place at 4:30 p.m. However, in order to further 
exert our control over all things Frisbee, The Philip (TAFFETAs shadowy leader) 
has arranged for a non-frisbee sporting event to take place at the normal location. 
Today, we will meet at Nettles Park, which is located on Nettles road off of 
Issaqueena trail.
 
Now, a word from our Brave Corporate Logo: 

 This is no place for loafers. Join us or die! Can you do any less?
 
Join TAFFETA's ascension to power. The emails will continue until we have 
achieved 100% attendance.
 
J. Bowman Light
TAFFETA spokesperson

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From: John Light
Sent: Friday, February 23, 2007 12:53 PM
Subject: Come play tennis-ball-can lid

For the second straight week, TAFFETA’s Shadowy Leader, The Phillip, has affected 
a change of location. The Frisbee game will be played at Nettles Park. Contact our 
spokesperson for directions. The time remains 4:30 pm, just ten short minutes 
after 4:20.   As a further exertion of power, we have proposed the following 
changes to routine:
 
-  The Frisbee will be replaced by the lid of a tennis-ball can, in order to 
   improve manual dexterity and allow us to use less field. This is important, 
   as we expect attendance to increase dramatically, and a larger turnout requires 
   a larger field. The smaller disc will counter this problem.

-  Scorers must perform a “touchdown dance.” Extra points may be awarded for 
   creativity. Homages to Barry Sanders are acceptable.

-  Postgame banquets will be held at Chophouse ’47 in Greenville. The player who 
   scores the final point of the night receives free bread.

-  More haiku. You have been warned.
 
The Phillip encourages you to join us at Nettles Park this afternoon, though he will 
not directly participate in any disc-related activities himself, as he has a bad back. 
Solidarity, brothers (or sisters).
 
J. Bowman Light
TAFFETA Spokesperson

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From: J. Bowman Light
Sent: Friday, March 02, 2007 11:49 AM
Subject: Meet Your Disc-flinging Leaders

Potential Frisbee Players,

Since the rise of TAFFETA, many of you have been asking questions about the 
organization, questions such as:

- What is TAFFETA?
- Who are their members?
- What are the benefits of membership?
- Where should I have dinner tonight?
 
Today, your questions are answered. TAFFETA, as has been previously mentioned, 
is The Association For Frisbee Emails, Today and Always. Our goal is, quite simply, 
power. As anyone with a primitive grasp of political science will understand, the 
first step towards power in the Mathematical Sciences department is to control the 
Frisbee Email. Our campaign against the seminar emails will begin soon, and eventually 
we plan to subvert the Student Digest email to our own purposes.
 
As a matter of security, much of TAFFETA’s membership is anonymous, and even the 
known members often use aliases. Known members of TAFFETA are: 

The Phillip – TAFFETA’s Shadowy Leader. Little is known about The Phillip, except that 
he “poops too much.” Still, he is acknowledged as the impetus behind the organization’s 
power grab in the wake of Shannon’s abdication of the Frisbee email.
 
J. Bowman Light – Spokesperson. The voice of TAFFETA. Occasionally the hair of TAFFETA 
as well. But perhaps I’ve said too much.
 
Mr. Sparkle – Our Brave Corporate Logo. Mr. Sparkle is disrespectful to dirt. Can you see 
that he is serious?
 
“Ginny” – Rumored to be the organization’s top advisor, Ginny can often be seen in 
consultation with spokesperson Light during his twice-daily constitutionals. Ginny 
has never been seen at Frisbee games; according to knowledgeable sources, this is 
because Mr. Light is “concerned about her behavior,” and believes that she “couldn’t 
catch mange in a barn.”
 
If you cannot decide where to have dinner tonight, TAFFETA can decide for you! Join us 
today at 4:30, on the field beside the baseball diamond. Following a brief interlude of 
disorganized physical activity, the dinner destination will be decided. Marvel at the 
political machinations as the powerful subtly manipulate the decision to their own ends. 
Come, and add your voice to the process.
 
J. Bowman Light
TAFFETA Spokesperson

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From: J. Bowman Light
Sent: Friday, March 09, 2007 1:18 PM
Subject: Aerodynamics Research and Leisure Studies Seminar 

Colleagues,
This afternoon at approximately 4:30 p.m., TAFFETA will be sponsoring an interactive 
seminar in which we propose to study the aerodynamic properties of several roughly 
circular pieces of extruded plastic. There will be ample opportunity for audience 
participation, and Shadowy Leader The Phillip may be in attendance. There will be a 
group dinner after the presentation, at a place to be determined later. In order to 
dispel any idea that we are affiliated with the weak-kneed ideals of a public university,
the seminar will be held at Nettles Park, which is on Nettles Road, which forks away
from Issaqueena trail about halfway between 123 and Business 28. Attendance is optional; 
recognition of our authoritay is not.
 
J. Bowman Light
TAFFETA Spokesperson

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From: J. Bowman Light
Sent: Friday, March 16, 2007 1:20 PM
Subject: Our Weekly Responsibility

This Friday, just like every Friday, TAFFETA is responsible for informing you 
of the time and location of the Frisbee game. Our Shadowy Leader has once again 
arranged for the normal field to be occupied, so the alternate location is
Nettles Park. By popular demand, here are directions to Nettles Park: Take 123 
to Issaqueena Trail. Turn right. After approximately 2 miles, bear left onto 
Nettles Road. Nettles Park will be on your left. Take the drive all the way to the 
back of the park.  Alternatively, you can take Business 28 to Issaqueena, turn left, 
and turn right onto Nettles Road. There’s a church at the intersection, possibly 
the Church of God of Prophecy, possibly not.
 
Bring galoshes; Frisbee does not stop just because the field is muddy.
 
J. Bowman Light
TAFFETA Spokesperson

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From: J. Bowman Light
Sent: Friday, April 06, 2007 12:18 PM
Subject: You were warned

Cool weather returns
Too cold to be sunbathing
But fine for Frisbee!
 
 
Not enough players
The haikus will continue
Stinging you like rain
 
 
There is no escape
Acquiesce to TAFFETA
Like reeds in the wind
 
 
Four-thirty today
By the baseball stadium
Join us, grasshopper


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From: The Phillip
Sent: Friday, April 13, 2007 1:21 PM
Subject: It Is Your Lucky Day

You citizens of the mathematical sciences department can be assured that your 
vote in the SIAM election makes little difference; we have already arranged the 
outcome of the election. 

To celebrate our subversion of our spokesperson’s political aspirations, we invite 
you to spurn today’s picnic in favor of the weekly Frisbee game. 

Today’s game takes place at 4:30 pm, on the field by the baseball diamond. For you 
weak-kneed favor-curriers who would prefer to attend the picnic, there is rumor of 
a “night game,” to take place on the intramural fields under the lights. Play at 
your own risk; TAFFETA neither condones nor supports this dangerous breach of protocol.

We WILL see you at the Frisbee game. Resist us at your peril.
 
The Phillip
TAFFETA's Shadowy Leader

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From: The Phillip
Sent: Friday, April 20, 2007 12:49 PM
Subject: A brief quiz

Is your idea of “fresh air” propping open the building doors?

Are you worried that watching other people engage in physical activity is 
somehow itself a physical activity?

Are you only leaving the Martin Hall area for meals these days?

Can you count the number of people in this department you socialize with on 
a regular basis without having to take off your shoes?
 
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions (and, admit it, you did), come 
and experience the spring-like weather and friendly atmosphere at the weekly 
Frisbee game. 

This week, the game is at 4:30 pm, on the field next to the baseball stadium; 
if encroaching game-day traffic makes the location untenable, the game will 
move to Nettles Park.

No, you don’t have to run, or even move very much at all, if you don’t want to.

No, the Frisbee will not hurt you.

Yes, you might meet new people.

Yes, you might enjoy it.
 
Hugs,
The Phillip

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From: The Phillip
Sent: Friday, April 27, 2007 12:30 PM
Subject: this is the end! (of the week)

No more manifestos. No more subversion. No more cajoling. The semester is over, 
and it’s time for peace.
 
Frisbee, today, 4:30, by the baseball stadium, unless there’s too much game 
traffic, in which case we’ll move to Nettles Park.  Come. Play Frisbee. 
Watch Frisbee. Hang out with people. Avoid your finals for a few hours.
 
Hugs,
The Phillip

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From: The Phillip
Sent: Friday, May 04, 2007 11:16 AM
Subject: The last frisbee email you'll get all week

Happy end-of-exams day, Clemson students! We invite you to celebrate your 
temporary freedom from the drudgery of schoolwork by playing Frisbee this
afternoon.

With summer in the offing, we would like to announce some disc-related changes
to policy:

1) For the summer, Frisbee emails will include the word “Frisbee” in the subject line, 
   so that those of you not in the area can filter emails by subject, thus reducing
   inbox clutter. Consider this our gift to you.

2) As the days are now generally longer and warmer, Frisbee will begin at 5:00, to
   reduce the risk of heatstroke. Today, however, we will keep the 4:30 start time, 
   to take advantage of the cooler weather.

3) Two words: more haiku.
 
Once again: Frisbee today, 4:30, field by the baseball stadium. Please do come. 
Enjoy your summers.
 
Hugs,
The Phillip

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From: The Phillip
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2007 9:56 AM
Subject: play frisbee

I wish the denizens of Clemson a happy Graduation Day!

Come celebrate your graduation, or that of others, by flinging a piece of plastic 
about a large field. Festivities begin at 5:00, near the baseball stadium.
 
Hugs,
The Phillip

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From: The Phillip
Sent: Friday, May 18, 2007 12:34 PM
Subject: frisbee friday

We are happy to report that there are no thunderstorms forecast for this afternoon,
nor any post-graduation traffic to thwart our attempts to play Frisbee. 

We play at 5:00, next to the baseball stadium. Be there, or don’t.
 
Hugs,
The Phillip

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From: J. Bowman Light
Sent: Friday, May 25, 2007 2:10 PM
Subject: frisbee time

The Phillip is on vacation this week. For those of us who are here, celebrate 
the end of the first week of summer classes with a rousing game of Frisbee. 
Five o'clock this afternoon, next to the baseball stadium.

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From: J. Bowman Light
Sent: Friday, June 08, 2007 1:15 PM
Subject: Friday is for Frisbee

Fellow Clemsonites,

TAFFETA apologizes for last week's email SNAFU; every single address was returned
to us by the server with a 'host not found' error. We suspect sabotage. Frisbee
was played anyway, and with adequate attendance.

This week, we anticipate no problems. As always, we meet at 5:00, next to the 
baseball stadium. If a storm rolls through, we'll probably wait it out. Beyond that, 
remember that the temperature will be in the low 90s, so be prepared.
 
J. Bowman "Two-Tone" Light
TAFFETA spokesperson

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From: The Phillip
Sent: Friday, June 15, 2007 1:21 PM
Subject: It's frisbee weather

We toss the disc, rain or shine. In fact, Frisbee is better in the rain; it keeps 
you cool, and makes the ground soft for your frequent falls. It also slows down 
the fastest players, and shortens the flight of the disc. Yes, rain is the great 
equalizer. Lightning, not so much; we’ll try to wait out a thunderstorm if one 
comes.

At any rate, come enjoy whatever weather we have, at 5:00 near the baseball stadium. 
If the field is in use, the game will move to Nettles Park, but go to the stadium 
first. Bring extra socks.
 
The Phillip

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