With that in mind the first order of business is to flatter anyone one who might disagree with me by showing I understand his or her position; however, anyone who disagrees with me is probably unable to read so I will not waste your time or my paper by stating and refuting the obvious. Furthermore, giving credibility to any other position would destroy all pretense of having a valid topic.
Second, I should according to deductive logic provide an assumption to build on. Hence, there is no credible reason for me not to have a real topic other then it being nearly impossible to choose one.
Third, I will provide a fact to complement my assumption before anyone figures out that my assumption is not indeed a fact. The fact is: if I don't turn in an essay of some sort I will receive a double F--and that is one serious fact.
Forth, In order for this essay to make sense it must be said that my first topic was about the smell of cigarette smoke. The reason for giving this information will soon be self evident.
Fifth, I will now provide argument that will prove in no uncertain terms that selecting a topic is unquestionably the most difficult task assigned in English 101. I have resorted to writing about a dream. Yes that's right, I have stooped to new lows in my search for that all elusive, "real A." Now I could have written the cutesy kind of dream story where you wait till the end and say, "and then I woke up," but I was told to "accurately point to where you are going so the reader can easily follow." The dream is on the next page.